A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Duct Tape script
Saturday, September 2, 2006
Listen

GK: If you're a man, you're expected to be handy.

SS: Here. Fix this.

GK: So you're forced to battle with the washing machine (TK HARD EFFORT, WRENCHING, GUSH OF WATER, CRY OF DEFEAT) and with the sump pump (TK HARD EFFORT, WRENCHING, GUSH OF WATER, CRY OF DEFEAT), and the lawn mower (STARTER ROPE ATTEMPT, CRY OF RAGE, ANOTHER ATTEMPT, MORE RAGE) and the car (TK EFFORT, WRENCHING, GLASS BREAKAGE, CRY OF DEFEAT) and the toilet (TK EFFORT, WRENCHING, HUGE GUSH OF WATER, AI YI YI), and why are you defeated? Because you're trying to do it the professional way.

Next time try it the easy way. (RIP OFF TAPE) Slap some duct tape on it. (SLAP ON TAPE) That'll hold it for awhile.

SS: You fix it?

TK: Got it all fixed.

GK: Duct tape: it's good enough for most normal purposes.