Ambush script
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Listen

GK: Do you ever look around you at work or at home and see people who obviously ought to be on medications and aren't? Tranquilizers, for example…..(TR FURY, GLASS, WOOD BREAKAGE). Antidepressants. (SS LOW GROAN) Or perhaps a rabies shot. (TR GROWLING: Get in here, Miss Pomeroy, and let's see that report I asked you for last week. Come on. I don't have all day) Sometimes people just aren't able to take care of themselves and they need your help.

SS: I don't bother with flu shots. I never get sick. It's fine for old people, but it's a big waste of time, if you ask me.

GK: Now there's a way you can help people who need medications and don't know it. It's a Blow Dart, from Ambush Pharmaceuticals (BLOW DART, THUNK, OUCH) It's easy, just point and blow. Make a difference in people's lives.

(TR FURY, GLASS, WOOD BREAKAGE) (BLOW DART, THUNK)

TR: Ouch. What was that? Oh. Gosh. I feel as if I'm floating. Wonderful.FADE) (SS LOW GROAN) (BLOW DART, THUNK) SS: Ouch. (HER VOICE RISES SLOWLY TO JOYFUL SOPRANO)

TR: This is sloppy work, Miss Pomeroy---- I can't believe you took a whole week to turn in something so shabby, so full of holes, so obviously inept (BLOW DART, THUNK) …ouch… On the other hand, it's brilliant too. Most of it is. In fact, now that I look more closely, it's probably the best thing I've seen around here in years. Why don't you be president for awhile and I'll work for you? What do you say? Marry me. (TR TENOR)

GK: It's so easy. People's problems are mostly chemical. We know that now. You can try to reason with them for years and it won't do any good. Whereas one little (BLOW DART, THUNK)…..

SS: Ouch. Wow. What were we talking about?

GK: My buying a red convertible?

SS: Fine. No problem.

GK: You sure?

SS: You deserve it.

GK: Thanks.

SS: Did you get a facial or something?

GK: No.

SS: You just look different. Luminous. Golden. You look like a supernatural being.

GK: Well, thanks. I guess that's just how I am. ---- A word from Ambush Pharmaceuticals. It works on the neighbor's dog too. (BARKING, BLOW DART, THUNK, BARK, SNORING)


Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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