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Radio script
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Listen
Garrison Keillor: The more we learn about Kim Jong Il of North Korea, the more we see the danger of world leaders watching movies. Kim Jong is a big fan of Hollywood and is it any surprise that he went ahead and set off a nuclear bomb?
Tim Russell (CLINT EASTWOOD): Go on, punk. Make my day (BLAM)
GK: No wonder the man is confrontational. He's sitting in his palace watching old westerns (SLOW FOOTSTEPS IN GRAVEL)
TR (WESTERN DRAWL): Draw your gun, Mr. Dillon. I'd say, you don't look so fast as you used to be. Seems to me you might be perspiring a little. Let's see your stuff.
GK: Wouldn't it be better for us all if he were listening to public radio?
Sue Scott (HYPNOTIC NPR LADY): Coming up on the public affairs hour, we'll be discussing climate change and its possible impact on America's output of oats, and we'll be taking listener questions about grain farming — join us, coming up right after the news.
TR (NEWSCASTER): This is Karl Kassull with the news. The American Library Association held a news conference in Washington today, calling the recent epidemic of overdue books a national disgrace and calling on Americans to search their bookshelves for borrowed books.
SS: A recent study by the National Institute of Health shows that the viewing of movies may lead to odd patterns of hair growth and abdominal weight gain. For more, here is NPR's Sharon Munsinger...
SS: This is Sharon Munsinger. A recent study by the National Institute of Health shows that the viewing of movies may lead to odd patterns of hair growth...(FADING)
GK: And that's why we're coming to you to ask your support for WPR. World Public Radio. We need to raise three million dollars in the next ten minutes to aim our programming toward North Korea, Iran, Peru, Washington D.C., and other trouble spots. (TELEPHONES, CACOPHONY OF VOICES: We need you to call now.....we can't do it without your help...If you care about world peace, call now...We know you're out there. Please call....World leaders need to hear public radio...Together we can do this....It only costs you ten cents a day, less than the cost of a cup of coffee...There's a call now. Add your voice to that of others...Help us out. We need YOU.)
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A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?
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Scripts and bits from A Prairie Home Companion celebrate the secret society of men and women who possess excellent spelling and punctuation skills. (You know who you are.)
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