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A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Dolphins script
Saturday, November 11, 2006
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Garrison Keillor: (DOLPHINS) Our friends the dolphins. We come to Hawaii for the chance to dive into a pool and swim with the dolphins (DOLPHINS). Out at Dolphinland Family Aquatic Park and Casino. All of your stresses and anxiety seem to melt away as you come in contact with these large intelligent and gentle creatures. (DOLPHINS). You could hold your next business meeting in the pool with a waterproof powerpoint presentation and dolphins could take part — (DOLPHIN) — he's saying, "I'd check your figures there." (DOLPHIN) Sometimes marketing bites off more than they can chew. — You could hold your wedding there and have one of our finny friends sing at it. (DOLPHIN SINGING "AVE MARIA"). Or you could play poker with a dolphin and see how you do. (DOLPHIN CHUCKLING, SHUFFLING) And here is dolphin trainer Madison Flexner with one of her prize specimens, a dolphin named Fred.

(DOLPHIN)

Sue Scott: Dolphins are very intelligent and so we encourage our patrons to learn a few simple dolphin phrases. This is Hello.

(DOLPHIN)

SS: And this is goodbye. (DOLPHIN)

SS: This is "Please don't feed me more fish. I'm sick to my stomach."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, "I'd like to be by myself right now."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, "Please turn off the underwater music."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, Don't come over here. I am peeing.

GK: They are complex and sophisticated creatures, just like us. Meet them at Dolphinland.

(DOLPHIN)

GK: What did it say?

SS: I hope you didn't pick out those swim trunks yourself.

GK: Dolphinland, on Oahu, at Piscacadawadawanahanaquoddymoggin


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LIBERTY

Liberty:A Novel of Lake Wobegon A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?



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