A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Dolphins script
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Listen

Garrison Keillor: (DOLPHINS) Our friends the dolphins. We come to Hawaii for the chance to dive into a pool and swim with the dolphins (DOLPHINS). Out at Dolphinland Family Aquatic Park and Casino. All of your stresses and anxiety seem to melt away as you come in contact with these large intelligent and gentle creatures. (DOLPHINS). You could hold your next business meeting in the pool with a waterproof powerpoint presentation and dolphins could take part — (DOLPHIN) — he's saying, "I'd check your figures there." (DOLPHIN) Sometimes marketing bites off more than they can chew. — You could hold your wedding there and have one of our finny friends sing at it. (DOLPHIN SINGING "AVE MARIA"). Or you could play poker with a dolphin and see how you do. (DOLPHIN CHUCKLING, SHUFFLING) And here is dolphin trainer Madison Flexner with one of her prize specimens, a dolphin named Fred.

(DOLPHIN)

Sue Scott: Dolphins are very intelligent and so we encourage our patrons to learn a few simple dolphin phrases. This is Hello.

(DOLPHIN)

SS: And this is goodbye. (DOLPHIN)

SS: This is "Please don't feed me more fish. I'm sick to my stomach."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, "I'd like to be by myself right now."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, "Please turn off the underwater music."

(DOLPHIN)

SS: This means, Don't come over here. I am peeing.

GK: They are complex and sophisticated creatures, just like us. Meet them at Dolphinland.

(DOLPHIN)

GK: What did it say?

SS: I hope you didn't pick out those swim trunks yourself.

GK: Dolphinland, on Oahu, at Piscacadawadawanahanaquoddymoggin