Catchup script
Saturday, December 31, 2006
Listen

Garrison Keillor: ...after this message from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

(KETCHUP PIANO UNDER...)

Tim Russell: Once there was a small town that was a lot like other small towns. It was a place where women talked about PTA and guys stood around and talked about water drainage. Where the paperboy tossed the paper from his bike and hit your screen door and went home and had macaroni and cheese and sat and did his homework at the dining room table. Where you tuned in your favorite TV show every week and there it was. And then things started to change. The TV picture kept flipping and celebrities were people you never heard of. Strangers came to the door trying to sell you real estate. You went in the grocery store and they didn't have what you were looking for, just other stuff. And that was when people sat down and talked. And they said, "Maybe we're not getting enough ketchup." And they got out the ketchup and before you knew it, it was back the way it used to be. Folks started saying "doggone it" again. The phone rang and it was a right number. The toilet flushed. Kids lay down on the floor and read books from cover to cover. Just another small miracle from Ketchup...full of natural mellowing agents, to keep things on an even keel.

Rich Dworsky (SINGS):
These are the good times,
Where the catbird sits
All things come together, uniting opposites
Life is flowing, like ketchup on your grits.