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Teeth script
Saturday, December 31, 2006
Listen
Garrison Keillor: ...brought to you by Thompson Tooth Tinsel, for brighter, more festive teeth. Maybe you've tried whitening strips, baking soda toothpaste, and various gels that promise to brighten teeth, but you go to apply for a job and—
Tim Russell (BOSS): Your resume looks great, but your teeth just aren't right for us.
GK: Time for Thompson Tooth Tinsel. Other whiteners just whiten, Thompson Tooth Tinsel not only whitens, it gives your teeth a high-frequency hum that tells people: here's someone exciting to know. Just listen to him smile. (FN HUM)
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A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?
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Scripts and bits from A Prairie Home Companion celebrate the secret society of men and women who possess excellent spelling and punctuation skills. (You know who you are.)
Selections include "The Six-Minute Hamlet," a tribute to Emily Dickinson, a Guy Noir adventure that exposes an MFA scam, a riveting "Professional Organization of English Majors" drama, and guests Billy Collins, Robert Bly, Roy Blount Jr., and Calvin Trillin.
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