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Verdi script
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Listen
Garrison Keillor: Last week was the week I was talking about something on the show and I said, not once but twice, that the opera Tosca was written by Verdi, which led a lot of you to write in and ask if I am okay, and yes, I am. Puccini wrote Tosca, as I know very well, especially now that hundreds of you have told me. A person gets excited doing a radio show and mistakes are your way of knowing that the show is live. We do not tape the show in advance, which would allow us to sit in a control room and go back over things— and edit out mistakes— like this...
Fred Newman: (TAPE FORWARD AND STOP) —And now we'll hear an aria from Verdi's Tosca, E lucevan le stella...(REWIND) — an aria from Verdi's— (LITTLE REWIND) an aria from — (TWO SNIPS) — (FOOTSTEPS, CLICK) Puccini's...(FOOTSTEPS. REWIND) — an aria from (STOP, PASTING) (REWIND) — an aria from (TOO LOUD) Puccini's Tosca, E lucevan le stella. (REWIND) And now we'll hear an aria from Pucch— (REWIND) (TWO SNIPS) (FOOTSTEPS. CLICK) Puccini's. (FOOTSTEPS. REWIND) ...(PASTING) (REWIND) ...hear an aria from Puccini's Tosca, E lucevan le stella. (TENOR SINGING) —
GK: We could do that but instead we do the show live so as not to create unnaturally high standards of perfection that would make it more difficult for you folks to live your lives. My attributing Tosca to Verdi created happiness in thousands of homes across America—
FN (WOMAN): I couldn't believe the stupid stupid thing I heard on the radio today.
FN (MAN, DEEP): Oh? What?
FN (WOMAN): Some moron thinks that Verdi wrote "Tosca" — I couldn't believe it. And on public radio. We contribute membership money to that bunch of idiots and why? So they can stand around and say that Verdi wrote "Tosca"—
FN (MAN, DEEP): Uh huh.
FN (WOMAN): I mean, it's like saying that Homer Simpson wrote "The Aeneid"— I am going to write them a letter—
GK: It's live radio and so — (BARKING DOG COMES ON AND BARKS) — get him out of here— (BARKING, SNARLING) there's not a lot to do about it. It's like Irving Berlin wrote, "Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die. Blue skies, nothing but blue skys." (DOG SNARLING) Get away from me— Go. Git! (DOOR SLAM)
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