Saturday, January 27, 2007
(THEME FROM "ROCKY")
Opening next weekend here in Philadelphia, it's Rocky VIII, "Rocky Gets His AARP Card."
Tim Russell (ROCKY): What is this? AARP? What gives? Huh?
It's the American Association of Retired Peo
TR (ROCKY): Retired!!! Who they talking about? Me? Get outta here.
Sorry. Wrong AARP. This is the Association for the Advancement of Revered Prizefighters.
TR (ROCKY): That's more like it. Hey, where are my sweatpants?
You're wearing your sweatpants.
TR (ROCKY): Oh. Big deal. Now. If you'll excuse me. I gotta go.
Ok. Good luck honey.
TR (ROCKY): Shoot.
What's wrong now?
TR (ROCKY): Have you seen my keys?
GK: It's the story of an older guy who has taken a lot of punches to the head and kidneys, especially from movie critics. But he keeps on coming.
TR (ROCKY): Yo. One bagel with cream cheese.
Fred Newman (TEEN): What kind of cream cheese?
TR (ROCKY): Just the regular kind.
FN (TEEN): It's named for a city. The city you're in right now.
TR (ROCKY): Give me a hint. What does it start with?
FN (TEEN): Hey, you're that old boxer from like, a million years ago who like, ran all those steps in front of the art museum?
TR (ROCKY): Thanks, kid. Now I remember where I was going.
(DOOR JINGLES OPEN, SHUTS)
Rocky VIII in which Rocky Balboa takes on Ed McMahon (STING)
TR (ED MCMAHON): And heeeeeeeeeeere's Ed McMahon!!! (LAUGHS) I just get a big kick out of being me, Ed McMahon, and selling various scams on TV to all those geezers out there (LAUGHS) who weren't that bright to begin with.
TR (ROCKY): Why I oughta knock your lights out.
And Rocky goes hunting with Dick Cheney. (SHOTGUN BLAST)
TR (ROCKY): Hey. What was that about? Friends don't shoot friends in the face.
TR (CHENEY): Well, I operate on the principle that if there's even a one percent chance that it's a quail, I have to shoot.
TR (ROCKY): You do that again and I'm going to knock that smirk over to the other side of your mouth.
It's Rocky VIII and coming soon, Rocky XIX "Rocky Finds A Rest Home"
TR (ROCKY): We got water aerobics here and hatha yoga and they give you a good breakfast with fruit and fiber. I stay away from big flights of stairs. Too hard on your knees. Use the elevator.
And so the saga of Rocky Balboa continues to unfold here in the great city of Philadelphia.
(ROCKY THEME OUT)