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Green script
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Listen
Garrison Keillor:...after this message—
Tim Russell (GREENSPAN): This is Alan Greenspan, former head of the Federal Reserve Bank back when things were better and somebody was steering our nation's economy on a careful course between deep waters and the rocks of recession. Nowadays, with clowns like this Wolfowitz character and the others, who knows? That's why I took my savings out of the World Bank and put it in a coffee can, in my freezer. And that's why I'm urging all of you to throw off fiscal restraint and have a whee of a time now, while you can — live, laugh, love, and be happy. Forget the stock market. It's going to hell in a handbasket. Take that vacation to France. Rent the big chateau for the summer-buy that Jaguar you've always wanted -hire a band and throw the kind of party you've only seen in movies. Spend it like you got it. And that's why I've come out with Greenspan Green Banana Liqueur. It's a powerful drink that gets you where you want to go.
GK: Greenspan Green Banana Liqueur.
Sue Scott (JINGLE, BREATHY): Spend it...while you can...with Greenspan.
TR (FAST, ANNC): May be illegal in parts of New Jersey and Connecticut. This is not an offer to sell nor an inducement to buy. Drink responsibly and don't drive. Not applicable in Nebraska.
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A national holiday in Lake Wobegon is always gaudy and joyful. But what is going on between Clint Bunsen and Miss Liberty?
Everyone is here—Pastor Ingqvist, the Sons of Knute, Sister Arvonne of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility and her ocarina band, the Norwegian bachelor farmers, Dorothy and the Chatterbox Café, Wally in the Sidetrack Tap—as crowds converge on the little town to celebrate American independence, even as the chairman of the event broods on the great question of the day: Shall we struggle on valiantly here or shall we burst the bonds and find beautiful life in the golden west?
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Scripts and bits from A Prairie Home Companion celebrate the secret society of men and women who possess excellent spelling and punctuation skills. (You know who you are.)
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