A Prairie Home Companion: May 19, 2007

Space script
Saturday, May 19, 2007
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GK: ...after this—

Tim Russell (BUSH): This is President George W. Bush, and I want to talk about space. The big black place out there with the Milky Way in it. I always wanted to go out into space. A lot of people still wish I would. Some say I already have. But space is hard. It's hard work. You gotta go to the bathroom in a little plastic bag while you are floating around weightless, which is hard for anybody, but even harder for women. At least that's what they tell me. I remember back in my drinking days having to go really bad and I wasn't sure which way was up either, but that's different. Out in space you have to learn how to deal with disorientation. Something I've been dealing with for the past six years. That feeling of weightlessness. But it's ok. Space is important because if really bad stuff happens here on earth, we may have to get out and get out fast. Thank goodness the moon belongs to America. Got our flag on it. They say there may be oil up there, too. Moon oil. About time we find out. Space exploration has produced so much good for us all — lightweight thermal fabrics, Teflon, Tang, really good adult diapers, all developed for our space program — and now NASA is developing the science of robotics. That's so we can use— eloping the science of robotics. That's so we can use— eloping the science of robotics. That's so we can use— eloping the science (WHANG) — Thank you. And God bless you.

GK: Thank you, Mr. President.