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Father Script
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Listen
Father's Day is coming up next weekend, and it'd mean a lot to your dad to hear from you, so don't forget to give him a call.
(PHONE RINGS)
Tim Russel (MIDWESTERN): Hello.
Garrison Keillor: Hi dad. How you doing?
TR (MIDWESTERN): Oh. Not so bad. Just about to go mow the lawn.
GK: Okay. I won't keep you then.
TR (MID): Right. Everything going ok out there?
GK: Yep. Everything is fine, dad.
TR (MIDWESTERN): Well that's good to hear. Let me get your mother.
GK: No, I called for you, Dad.
TR (MID): Oh. Okay. (OFF) Never mind— I got it.
GK: I thought we ought to talk.
TR (MID): Yeah.
GK: You doing okay?
TR (MID): Oh yeah. Can't complain. Doing pretty darn good. Could be a lot worse.
GK: I had a dream last night that I was visiting someone in prison and he was sitting behind the bars and he looked at me and he said, "I'm your Daddy."
TR (MID): Uh huh.
GK: That's what he said.
TR (MID): Huh.
GK: I'm just trying to figure out what it means.
TR (MID): Uh huh. Let me get your mother for you— Betty!!
GK: No, I want to talk to you, Dad.
TR (MID): Okay. I was just about to go mow the lawn, so— gotta get to it before it rains.
GK: It's sunny out, Dad.
TR (MID): Well, you never know.
GK: I was thinking I'd come over on Father's Day and you and I sit down together and have a good long talk.
TR (MID): Oh. Okay. Well, I'm sure your mother and I would enjoy that.
GK: I mean, just the two of us. Dad? Are you there? Dad?
Sue Scott (MOM): Honey? Is that you?
GK: I was talking to Dad— where is he?
SS (MOM): Well he seems to have climbed out on the roof. If you like I can shout a message to him. Is there something you wanted to say?
GK: I just wanted to talk with him.
SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Well just hang on one minute. (PHONE SETS DOWN, FOOTSTEPS) (OFF) Hank! It's Carson on the phone! You want to talk to him? (FOOTSTEPS, PHONE PICKUP) He says he already did.
GK: Oh. Ok. — Put it in your calendar. Father's Day: June 17. Remember to call. And don't expect to talk for a long time.
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