Mama script
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Listen

Garrison Keillor: ...after a word from Mama.

Jearlyn Steele: Hello. This is Mama talking. I have two kids, a girl and a boy, and I love them to death. Near death anyway. Some people say that's why one of them lives in L.A. and the other one in Boston. As far from Minneapolis as you can get and not be on a boat. People who say that — I'm not talking to those people anymore. Because I love my kids and they love me. My daughter said, "Mama, when you get old, I hope you'll come and live near me." I said, "Honey, I'm not going to live near you, I'm going to live with you." I worked hard to get those two to where they are and when they get to where they're going, I am not about to slack off on the supervision. Every home needs regular maintenance and everybody needs their mama. Empty nest? I don't think so. Mama's gonna come find you wherever you are and don't you even think about lying to your mama. Your mama can tell when you're lying even if you're two-thousand miles away and you got a hanky over the phone. Your mama looks into her cereal bowl and sees your face in the cornflakes and your mama can tell if you're in trouble just by sniffing the air. Wherever you are, your mama knows what you're doing — and I say that in a nice way. You can move to Finland, darling, and your mama is still on top of the situation. Your daddy — ha — your daddy doesn't even remember when your birthday is. Your daddy used to sit glued to the TV — you coulda been kidnapped and he wouldn'tve known it til he saw it on the news. But your mama knows you. She knows all your pin numbers and your access codes. Your mama reads your e-mail so she can correct the grammar. You call on your cellphone, mama can hear what you say. Especially if you are talking about your mama. So listen up, honey. Mama's on the way. Get that? Mama's coming. I'm gonna try to be there today and if not, then tomorrow for sure. Make your bed and clean up the bathroom. Mama's coming.

(MUSIC)

GK: That's the word from Mama. She's on her way.

JS (& GK, to "I'LL FLY AWAY"):
Mama's coming to see you today
She's on her way
Make sure you are eating okay
She's on her way

She's on her way —sweet mama— and she's going to stay
Who else will love you and show you the way?
She's on her way
M-a-m-a

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