Burrow Script
Saturday, November 10, 2007

GK: The National Association for Gifted Children is meeting in convention in the Twin Cities this weekend and their arrival here reminds me of back when I discovered that I was gifted. It was in November ---- when winter moves in (WIND, WOLF HOWL) and it's dark on the frozen tundra and when I was a child I experienced rather dramatic hair growth all over my body.

SS: Don't worry about it. It's perfectly normal, sweetheart. And it looks so nice.

GK: I wasn't sure how normal it was, but here in Minnesota, we don't talk about things that are odd or wrong. We believe in avoidance.

SS: Finish your homework and I'll give you some banana bread.

GK: So in my family we simply didn't talk about hair growth or about the fact that Dad was digging a hole in the basement floor. (TR WORKING, DIGGING WITH FRONT PAWS, RHYTHMICALLY) He was digging down deep with his hands. Digging a hole in the dirt. I felt a terrible hunger. I ate macaroni and cheese for weeks. (RAVENOUS EATING) I ate pounds and pounds of it. Macaroni and cheese. As the wind blew (WIND) and the snowdrifts rose around our little house (WIND) and I got fatter and fatter.

SS: Have some more macaroni. I sliced up little wieners in it. And it's got lots and lots of cheese.

GK: I felt really sleepy. So did they. Dad went down the hole (SNORING) and Mom beside him. (SS & TR SNORING) And I joined them. (BRIDGE) And woke up and it was April. (YAWNING)

SS: So------. Looks to me like the lawn needs raking.

TR: Yeah. Boy, what happens to the time.

SS: Seems like yesterday it was autumn. And now it's spring.

GK: We never talked about what was happening to us. I had to look it up in an encyclopedia. The hair growth, the webbing between the toes, the whiskers, the little beady eyes. We had turned into muskrats. (STING) I went in to see our school counselor, Mr. Malcolm. And I told him everything.

TR: Well, you're a gifted child, Carson. It's simply a different sort of gift. The gift of sleep. Usually we would think of giftedness in terms of consciousness but yours is a form of unconsciousness. Everyone is different, and you're different in a little different sort of way. (CHEWING) You just have to deal with what you've been-Carson-stop chewing on my desk.

GK: Sorry.

TR: (TAPPING) Eyes up here, Carson. Focus.

GK: I just feel strange about my muskrat side.

TR: Well, you get all that sleep in the winter so you're well-rested. And we'll be happy to let you make up the classes you missed. (BRIDGE)

GK: One of those classes was biology and in that class wasa beautiful young woman----

SS: Excuse me--Carson?

GK: Ellen-hi--

SS: Um, I know this is odd, and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but---would you be in my biology experiment?


GK: Yes. Yes, I'd love to be your biology experiment.

SS: I've always been really really interested in large rodents, such as muskrats ----- not that I want to label you ---- not at all ---- I think that rodents have potential far beyond what anybody has ever imagined.

GK: That is so beautiful. (BRIDGE) And we fell in love, as so often happens in scientific experiments. I was running a maze and she touched me and I touched her and it was electric. And out of excitement I bit her,
(SS: Ow!) ---- and I never saw her after that. (STING) Eventually I did seek help and medications helped my muskrat problem and now I'm pretty much normal. Still in November (WIND) I remember how lovely it was in the burrow, the three of us all in a pile, snuggled in close (BREATHING, LIGHT SNORING), a family all heaped together. And now I have a little daughter who sometimes migrates in the middle of the night and I wake up and I'm part of a pile of people. Which is nice. If that's what giftedness leads to, then I'm all in favor of it. And welcome to Minnesota, the National Association for Gifted Children.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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