Fred Farrell script
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Listen

GK: After this message from Fred Farrell the name you have come to trust when it comes to Animal Calls.

TR (FRED): Hi. Fred Farrell here, reminding you that for the Christmas season all of our Animal Calls are marked down twenty percent. Deep discounts on our duck calls (DUCK), on our loon calls (LOON), on our combination Duck-Loon call (DUCK-LOON), our grouse calls (GROUSE), pheasant (PHEASANT), moose (MOOSE), eland (ELAND), wapiti (WAPITI), caribou (CARIBOU), and elk (ELK). It's the Christmas gift that brings nature to you. Most of the time, animals hide out in the underbrush and you never get to see them, but with our custom-made animal calls, you'll be surprised to find out how many badgers live near you (BADGER), or raccoons (COON), or the hairy mammoth (MAMMOTH). Many people assume the hairy mammoth is extinct, but there could be one living out behind your garage — get our hairy mammoth call and you'll find out.

GK: I don't want to bring up a painful subject, Fred, but you did have a product recall recently, I believe.

TR: Yes, we did.

GK: And these were your animal calls that attracted predatory animals who came to the person using the animal call and attacked them.

TR: That is true. That was our cougar call (COUGAR).

GK: I see. And what happened?

TR: A child blew on the cougar call and cougars came and carried the child away. That was six months ago.

GK: There was a search?

TR: Actually, the child called home on his cellphone a few days later and said he liked living with the cougars and didn't want to be rescued.

GK: Kind of a tough choice for the parents.

TR: For these parents, no. Anyway, the child is being raised by cougars, and I guess you just hope for the best, but meanwhile we have recalled all of our predatory animal calls, including the bear (BEAR), the gray wolf (HOWL), the lion (SFX), and the lioness (SFX).

GK: Thank you. That's Fred Farrell. The name to trust when it comes to animal calls.