Saturday, December 1, 2007
TR (ANNC): And now, the Adventures of Earl Sanderson, Eagle Scout, and his dog Crispy (ARF ARF) Brought to you by Tasty Morsels Breakfast Cereal...the nutritious oat cereal with a valuable prize in every single box. And now, today's story.
(DRIPPING, DISTANT TRAFFIC)
GK: (ECHOES) Hello? Hello? I fell down a manhole and I can't get up-can anybody hear me? Hello? Hello?
SS: Hello? Is somebody down there? I was on my way to a playI thought I heard a voice-
GK: Yes it's me. I'm down here.
SS: What happened to this manhole cover?
GK: I was wondering that myself.
SS: Where are you? Is that you?
SS: How could you fall through an open manhole?
GK: I was checking my voicemail and I just fell down. Could you get some help, please?
SS: Isn't there a ladder down there? I'm sure Con-Ed puts ladders in it's manholes. Con-Ed is our electric company, perhaps you didn't know that.
GK: You know- Just because I fell in a manhole doesn't mean I'm an idiot.
SS: Well you don't have to get snippy with me, sir . I was only trying to help. I'm on my way to a play. I have more to do than stand here talking to you, I hope you know.
GK: Could you call 911?
SS: I mean you're lucky I stoppedDo you see other people stopping? No, you don't.
GK: Would you mind calling 911?
SS: Well I might, but I really don't care for that tone of voice of yours.
GK: LookI'm at the bottom of a hole sitting in a pool of filthy water.
SS: Okay, but did I push you into the manhole? No, I did not.
GK: You know what-just forget it. Go to your play and enjoy it. Have a big time. It doesn't matter. I'll just lie down here and die.
SS: Oh you are such a victim, aren't you?
GK: Go on your way and eventually someone else will fall in and then I can stand on his shoulders and climb out and help him out and it'll be okay.
SS: Now just hang on a second, sir. I think there's an emergency vehicle coming (SIREN APPROACHES)
GK: Finally -
SS: I guess that was for someone else.
GK: Of course. Could you call 911please?
SS: Hmmm-I wonder if you would dial 911 in a situation like this-or if you should call 311.
GK: You know, I'm done talking to youjust go away.
SS: Now hold on, sir-there's someone coming. A grown man in a boy scout uniform. And he's got a dog with him (GROWLING, OFF)
GK: But that sounds like-it couldn't be-not here in Midtown Manhattan---(DOG BARKS)
TR: Hello? Hello? Is anybody down there? (SNIFFING)
GK: Is that Earl Sanderson the Eagle Scout?
TR: Yes, it's me. And my rescue dog Crispy. (ARF ARF)
SS: I was just about to call 311
GK: What are you doing in New York, Earl?
TR: I'm here for a knot-tying conference. They're putting us up at the Millenium for a couple of days. (WOOF). Me and Crispy both.
SS: The Millenium? Huh. How is that?
TR: It's good. We haven't had a problem.
SS: I haven't stayed in a New York hotel in ages. Because I live here. Do they still have bellboys who bring ice to the room?
GK: You know I'm still down here-hello? Me-a guy at the bottom of a manhole-
TR: Just hang on a second, sir. We'll have you out of here in no time.
GK: I'm two hours late for a very important lunch. They may be wondering where I am
SS: You think they're going to wait two hours? Ha!
TR: Okay, hold on sir. I've got a rope right here -Soon as I can find something to tie it toUh oh.
GK: What's wrong?
TR: I'm missing the hook that hooks onto your belt. I have to go back to the hotel and get the hook, sir.
GK: What do you mean go back to the hotel -
SS: He's gone, sir. He just hailed a taxi and got in and took off-
GK: How could he do that?
SS: He left and took the dog with him.
GK: I thought we were in the middle of a rescue, here.
SS: I can drop you a coffee and read you the paper if you like.
GK: Don't drop anything hot down here, okay? Thank you.
SS: You want me to read you the news?
GK: Like what for example?
SS: They're forecasting a recession.
GK: Oh great. No news, please. How about the comics?
SS: There are no comics in the New York Times, sir.
GK: Waithere's someone coming along -
SS: Sirexcuse mesirsir! No! Don't go -
(MAN FALLING, BANG, SPLAT, GROAN)
GK: You okay, sir?
TR (BLOOM): What in sam hill is that dang manhole sitting open for? Who are you? What're you doing?
GK: Who are you?
TR (BLOOM): I'm Mayor Bloomberg.
GK: How you doing?
TR (BLOOM): I'm doing just fine. We're in a hole but we're going to get out and I'm going to show you how. Bend over.
GK: You want me to bend over -?
TR (BLOOM): Bend over and I'll step up on your back and get out and then I'll lift you out.
TK (BLOOM): Bend over.
TR (ANNC): This has been another episode of Earl Sanderson, Eagle Scout, and his dog Crispy (ARF ARF)-Brought to you by Tasty Morsels Breakfast Cereal. The cereal with a valuable prize in every single box.