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Winter script
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Listen
GK: It's a beautiful winter day in New York — the bicycle taxis are out (BEARINGS, HONKS) and the skaters are on the rink in Rockefeller Plaza (SKATERS) and New Yorkers are in a friendly mood — people saying hello to each other on Wall Street (HANDSHAKE, BONES CRUNCH) and theater people around Broadway (AIR KISSES) and Rangers fans (CHEST POUNDING, FIST KNOCKS) It's a week before the winter solstice, and it's been cold in New York (WIND, HOWL). A freezing rain the other day and suddenly the sidewalks are icy and every pedestrian becomes a vaudeville act. (CRIES OF ALARM WHILE SLIPPING, THEN RECOVERY. THEN SLIPPING AGAIN) Then the next day it's 40 degrees and people are out walking their dogs (DOGS PASSING) and the runners are out in the park (RUNNER PASSING) and the bikers are out (BIKE PASSING) and a dog running with a runner (SFX) and the dog has the runner on a leash and he's towing the runner (SFX). You walk along in New York and you turn the corner and you're in a wind tunnel (WIND), which is the danger of umbrellas (MAN HANGING ONTO UMBRELLA) — a high wind can lift you right up off the ground (MAN FLYING) and suddenly you're up there with the birds (BIRDS PASSING, WINGS FLAPPING) and they have to send a helicopter up to bring you down (CHOPPER, CLOSE). One more reason to stay underground. The subway (GIBBERISH ANNOUNCE) — even if you can't understand the announcements — it's the train to ride (TRAIN, MAN CAUGHT IN DOOR).
GK: And on the Broadway Uptown Express there's a car — the skating car — (TRAIN, TINNY MUSIC, PEOPLE SLIDING, WHEEEEE).
There isn't much sledding or tobogganing in New York, the excitement you'd get from sledding, in New York you get it from riding in a cab (HORN HONKS, CABBIE SHOUTS, ENGINE REV). You worry about New Yorkers because they're rather thin people. They walk a lot (FAST WALKER) and also they wear a lot of black, so if they were to be trapped for days in a blizzard (BLIZZARD) out on the frozen tundra where the only shoppers are wolves (WOLVES), and it's you they're looking for — those New Yorkers might not last long. On the other hand, the wolves wouldn't eat them (SNIFFING) because there is no meat on those bones (DISAPPOINTED WOLVES). Minnesotans, on the other hand, (GREEDY WOLVES HAPPILY ANTICIPATING A FEAST) we make quite a meal for a carnivore.
We all get something out of it. Or at least we think we do. Denial in the Midwest, delusion in the east, and that's the magic of winter. Enjoy it while you can.
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