A Prairie Home Companion: January 19, 2008

English Majors script
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Listen

GK: ...and also brought to you by the Professional Organization of English Majors, reminding you that when it's time to write your obituary, don't settle for anything less than a certified English Major.

(FUNERAL ORGAN)

SS: Candace Rogers died yesterday at the age of 85. She was a lifelong teacher and a community activist who was known for her positive attitude and her scintillating conversation.

GK: This is how the world will remember you. So don't do it on the cheap.

(FUNEREAL ORGAN)

TR: A good life was had by Mr. Morgan A. Turnsdale, in reference to his having a two-bedroom house and also there was a sheep dog who was 7 years old at the time of his death.

GK: Wouldn't you really rather have an English Major?

(FUNEREAL ORGAN)

SS: She leaves behind two loving children, three talented grandchildren, her beloved husband, and countless friends and admirers.

GK: If you go in another direction, there's no telling what might happen.

(FUNERAL ORGAN)

TR: The deceased was found in a snowbank, where he was dead, wearing a silky pink robe, clutched tightly to a whiskey soda. He was a man who thought that seeing was to believe, which is what was ultimately, if one believes in the ultimate, made him a great teacher along with his wife of 45 years, Marcia. Truly, if one were looking for the perfect couple, than he was it.

GK: Get an English Major to write your obituary. Remember, it's your legacy. So write it properly. A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.