A Prairie Home Companion: March 01, 2008

Omelette script
Saturday, March 01, 2008
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GK: Coming up right after our show tonight: Presidential Omelettes. You don't know what a president would be like until they cook you eggs.

TR (OBAMA): My pan is fired up and ready to go. This is the omelette you dared not hope for. Your dream omelette. The omelette that gives your life meaning. Eggs. Cheese. Onions. Tomatoes…

SS (HILLARY): Now this is no fantasy omelette I'm making here. (SIZZLING) Okay? My whisk is out and my frying pan is on and I am ready to go. Day one. My eggs are cracked. Onions chopped.

TR (CLINTON): Can we put some chocolate in there?

SS (HILLARY): Go away, Bill.

TR (CLINTON): How about marshmallows?

SS (HILLARY): Just go away, okay?

TR (McCAIN): My friends, I'm here to give you the straight talk about omelettes. There's gonna be eggshells in there. Cheese is mold. And eggs come from the rear ends of chickens. (SIZZLES). And yes, this doesn't look like an omelette. Maybe it looks more like scrambled eggs, with shell. But you know what my friends? It's all the same in the end. So deal with it.

GK: That's Presidential Omelettes. Coming up right after our show tonight.