Daylight script
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Listen

GK: And now let's darken the theater for a brief filmstrip presentation.

(FILM PROJECTOR)
(FN MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR (ANNOUNCER): Daylight Saving Time. What Is It And Why? — Where did Daylight Saving (SNAP, TR SLOWS AND VOICE GOES BASS) Time come from? Let's watch and learn—

GK: We seem to have a technical problem. Fred, our projectionist, is working on the problem right now.

FN (OFF): I'm going to have this running again in just a minute. (SERIES OF MECHANICAL ADJUSTMENTS. BLOWTORCH. AIR WRENCH. LASER. HAMMERING, ETC.)

GK: Thank you for your patience.

FN (OFF): Okay, we're all set to go. Dim the lights. (REPEAT COMMAND, OFF) Roll it!!!!

(FILM PROJECTOR)
(FN MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR (ANNOUNCER): Daylight Saving Time. What Is It And Why? — Where did Daylight Saving Time come from? Let's watch and learn— as we see this school girl coming home from school — (SS CHILD: It's so dark out. I'm scared.) — it's Standard Time and it's dark in the afternoon — and there in the bushes is a cougar (COUGAR SNARL, LICKING ITS LIPS) — she is six blocks away from her house (SS GIRL: I'm scared) — The cougar is getting all set to leap (SNAP AND TR VOICE GETS SLOW AND DEEP) on the defenseless child as she walks along the deserted street...

GK: We're having some problems with the projector.

FN (OFF): I think I know what the problem is— one second.

GK: Thank you for your patience. The filmstrip will resume momentarily.

(SFX: MORE MECHANICAL —- INCL ARC WELDER, HAIR DRYER, LASER, GEIGER COUNTER, HAMMERING, WRENCHES — ETC)

FN (OFF): Okay. All set. DIM THE LIGHTS (REPEAT COMMAND) — Roll it!

(PROJECTOR)
(MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR: The Iron Mining Industry of Minnesota — creating good jobs through taconite production—

GK: Wrong filmstrip, Fred.

FN: Sorry.

TR: — here is a pellet production plant in Biwabik where low-grade iron ore is refined into taconite pellets that will be shipped east on the Great Lakes……(FILM SLOWS, TR GETS LOWER AND SLOWER) here we see factory workers rolling the taconite with their hands into pellets the size of golf balls.

FN (OFF): Let me switch film now. (SWITCHING, WINDING WHIRR, RATCHETS, CANS OF FILM)

GK: Thank you for your patience. We'll resume the filmstrip in just a moment.

FN (OFF): Okay. Sorry about that. Dim the lights. (REPEAT COMMAND) Roll it!

(PROJECTOR)
(FN MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR: But she was very brave, little Stephanie. She was afraid of the dark, but she had to get home so she lit a cigarette lighter because cougars are afraid of fire. (COUGAR FEAR) And just in case this one was not, she carried a bazooka. (BAZOOKA) But carrying a cigarette lighter is too great a temptation for the child and soon (SNAP, VOICE GETS LOWER AND SLOWER) she is smoking great big cigars and leaving a trail of smoke which only...

GK: You know, maybe we should just cancel the filmstrip presentation….

FN (OFF): You know the problem is that they don't make these projectors anymore. There's no replacement parts. We're just working with baling wire and duct tape here.

GK: Can you fix it?

FN (OFF): Of course. Just a sec. (MORE MECHANICAL SFX...RATCHETS, POUNDING, SAWING, BLOWTORCH, ETC ETC ETC)

GK: Thank you for your patience. Sorry for the interruption.

FN (OFF): Okay. I think we've got it now. Dim the lights. (REPEAT COMMAND) Roll it!

(PROJECTOR)
(FN HULA MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR: Here on the beach at Waikiki the women's surfing competition is about to begin as we see the six contestants carry their boogie boards into the water and head for the big breakers just beyond— (SURF) and meanwhile the dancers on the shore are telling a story with their hands. (FN HULA MUSIC GETS SLOWER AND DEEPER) These talented beauties wear costumes they made themselves. Let's take a closer look...

GK: We seem to have another technical problem.

FN (OFF): Sorry. Wrong film. We'll get this switched back. (FILM SWITCHING)

(PROJECTOR)
(MUSIC UP TO SPEED)

TR:...Puberty comes suddenly to the Swanson family. Tommy's voice is changing. And Janet has dyed her hair black and gotten an enormous tattoo on her lower back. What causes these changes? (SNAP AND TR VOICE GETS SLOW AND DEEP). Let's talk about hormones — and let's start with estrogen.

GK: You know, we're wasting a lot of time here.

FN (OFF): Sorry. We've got a lot of filmstrips back here. (FILM SWITCHING)

GK: Thank you for your patience. We'll resume the Daylight Savings story in just a moment. And here we go...

(PROJECTOR)
(FN MUSIC UP)

TR: Stephanie walked home from school, smoking a cigar, which was her way of dealing with the fear of darkness. And of cougars. (COUGAR) The big cat traced her steps home every single day, staying in the shadows. (COUGAR) And then one day, the clocks were turned forward and it was day and her life was saved.

SS (CHILD): This is great! This is so worth it! I'm the luckiest girl alive! (SINGING, SKIPPING)

TR: A whole wonderful afternoon and evening lay before her, a chance to play in the sunshine until 8 or 9 o'clock...thanks to Daylight Savings Time.

SS (CHILD, SINGS):

I am happy because I'm
A fan of Daylight Savings time
And I can play outdoors
Without fear of carnivores
It's the time for me
D.S.T.

TR: Yes, the deadly cougar retreated deep into the woods as the child danced and celebrated (SS CHILD SINGING) and she picked up her big surfboard and ran toward the ocean (SURF) even though it was Minnesota — for iron ore mining had created enormous holes hundreds of miles long that now filled with water...water and surf and sunshine. And as she ran, she noticed something strange about her body: (SS: What's happening to me?) (HULA MUSIC). Daylight Savings Time: Where Does It Come From And Why? (BIG MUSICAL BUTTON) (THEN SNAP AND MUSIC GETS LOW AND SLOW)

FN (OFF): Let me fix it so we can see the credits.

GK: We don't need to see the credits.

FN (OFF): It'll just take a second.

GK: Skip the credits. We don't need it.

FN (OFF): Please. (MECHANICAL SFX, BIG HURRY)

GK: Thank you. (BIG BAND PLAYOFF)

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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