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A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

St. Paul script
Saturday, March 15, 2008
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(PIANO MUSIC)

GK: For all our talented people in town this weekend, lots to do here in St. Paul. We've got nice coffeeshops (ESPERSSO), some beautiful walks along the river (BIRDS), There's the state capitol (FOOTSTEPS, REVERB) with handsome murals and the Science Museum of Minnesota, right there, where you can learn about magnets (CLICK, CLICK), or visit the mummy (EGYPTIAN THEME), and if that doesn't do it for you, there's always-

(ELECTRIC GUITAR)

TR (ANNC): Sunday Sunday Sunday! Live, at the Excel Energy Center, see John Deere Tractors doing wheelies and spinouts (TRACTOR WHEELIES, SPINOUTS, BIG CHEERS), giant riding lawnmowers in a cagematch to the finish! (LAWNMOWER FIGHT, MEN GRUNTING)-500-horsepower monster truck leaping over other monster trucks-that themselves are leaping over smaller trucks— (MONSTER TRUCKS LEAPING, FADE)

(PIANO MUSIC)

GK: There's something for everybody in Saint Paul. Whether you visit the Farmer's Market in Lowertown, or head off to the fairgrounds (CIRCUS MUSIC), or simply stop for a glass of wine (WINE BOTTLE OPENING) at one of Saint Paul's many fine—

(ELECTRIC GUITAR)

TR (ANNC): (HUGE TRUCK REVS) Monster stretch schoolbuses filled with small children (CHILDREN CRY), leaping over big trucks (BUS LEAPS), end over end (BOUNCING SCHOOLBUS, CHILDREN CRY) and here comes the GraveDigger (TRUCK ACCELLERATION) he's headed right for the bus, will they make it? (KIDS SCREAM)-look out, kids-(ACCELLERATION, CRAZY LAUGHTER)

(PIANO MUSIC)

GK: Saint Paul...an elegant city on a hill, with a thriving public library system-lots of movie theaters and live theater as well-The Ordway, where you can go see opera (TK OPERA), there's the Saint Paul Chamber Orchestra-(CLASSICAL PIANO), and then there's—

(MONSTER TRUCK, ELECTRIC GUITAR)

TR (ANNC): —Giant exploding wheelbarrows! (EXPLOSION)-watch as chickens on steroids (HUGE CHICKENS) play soccer with a time bomb—(TICKING, EXPLOSION, CHICKENS)—holy cow did you see that?? A piece of the light rail system up on giant tires, fighting with an electric bus (TRAIN VS. BUS) Wow. Unbelievable— and now here comes a live moose (MOOSE) A live moose in robot armor (CLANG), and he's going to fight an elk (ELK, CLANGING)-it's-bone-crushing fun! Don't miss it-this Sunday Sunday—

GK: Yes, we get it.... It's Sunday.

TR (ANNC): Sunday!

GK: Sunday. (A LONG, AWKWARD BEAT)

TR (ANNC): Sunday!!!!!

GK: Plenty to do in Saint Paul for our visiting artists-Sunday or any day. So enjoy yourselves while you're in town. Saint Paul, Minnesota.


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