A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Jump script
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Listen

GK: Do you ever have moments like this in your home?

SS: What?

GK: What do you mean, what?

SS: What are you trying to say?

GK: I told you.

SS: I don't get it.

GK: I realize that.

SS: But what do you mean?

GK: Just what I said.

SS: I don't know why we can't ever have a real conversation.

GK: I am trying.

SS: We never talk.

GK: Does your spouse not understand you no matter how clearly you explain things? You talk and talk and talk and all you do is move air around the room. Now you can start transmitting your thoughts directly into each other's heads with Jumper Synapse from Neurodyne Industries. It's simply two cables from your partner's head to yours, hook up the positive ear to the positive ear (CLAMPS) and the negative ear to the negative ear (SPARK / CLAMP) and start talking and suddenly everything is clear.

SS: I was thinking you and I could go out to dinner tomorrow night.

GK: Ah. Tomorrow is your birthday. Right.

SS: Do I need to lose weight?

GK: That is a rhetorical question and the correct answer is no. — Jumper Synapse from Neurodyne, the people who cloned sheep (BAAAA). Share your thoughts, with electricity.