A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Smoke script
Saturday, May 17, 2008
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Garrison Keillor: With indoor smoking about to become illegal in Minnesota, smokers have become lonely fugitives, moving around like coyotes, looking for shelter. No more smoking in bars, or bowling alleys or bingo halls, but you can still come on down to Mike's Big Tent of Smoke. Opening soon: a chain of 150 giant teepees where you can smoke all you want-that's what it's for.

Tom Keith (SMOKER): Hi. I'm Mike, owner of Mike's Big Tent of Smoke. You want to smoke? Come on out to the tent. Legally, a tent is not indoors, so you can smoke all you want. (COUGHING).

Sue Scott (SMOKER): My husband won't let me smoke in the house anymore so I come down to Mike's Big Tent of Smoke and I've met some wonderful people down here. That's the reason I smoke — I just prefer smokers to other people. They're more adventurous. Dark — interesting — (SHE COUGHS)

Tim Russell (SMOKER): I never used to smoke. All my life I ran marathons and drank a lot of juice. But I really like teepees. So I started coming out to Mike's. And now I'm up to seven packs a day. (COUGHING) It's all right. Just a different kind of high.

GK: There's a place for you, at Mike's Big Tent of Smoke. Just open the flap and come on in.

TK (MIKE): They talk about the danger of secondhand smoke. I say, hey, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. Somebody could drop a refrigerator off their balcony - hit you on the head - wham! You're dead. Don't tell me about secondhand smoke! Come to Mike's Big Tent of Smoke. (INHALING, AHHH)

GK: That's Mike's Big Tent of Smoke. If you need to smoke and you don't want to stand in a doorway like some criminal, come to Mike.