Café Boeuf script
Saturday, September 6, 2008


GK: We're in Vermont, a short drive from Montreal, and many Quebecois come down here to eat at the Café Boeuf Burlington: Where the elite meet to eat. With your host, Antoine.

TR: (FRENCH)

GK: I'm sorry - you asked if I am wearing a potato?

TR: No, no, no. I ask if you are dining alone tonight?

GK: Yes, I am. I'm on tour.

TR: Aha. Okay. You are all alone. Okay.

GK: You have tables for one?

TR: Of course, in life we are all very much alone. Very very much alone. Or as Jean-Paul Sartre said, (FRENCH GIBBERISH)

GK: What does it mean?

TR: It means, "A man must march to his own drummer and not listen to the drums of others."

GK: That's not Jean-Paul Sartre. That's Henry Thoreau.

TR: You are saying that Sartre stole a saying from this- this Thoreau.

GK: Well, who knows. What are your specials, Antoine?

TR: Do you want to hear the specials?

GK: Of course.

TR: Then I will say them. We have two specials. We have (FRENCH) and that is 45 dollars.

GK: Forty five dollars!

TR: Oui. Your dollar is not so strong anymore. Your dollar is (FRENCH) -

GK: What else?

TR: And there is the (FRENCH) Forty six dollars.

GK: Okay. What were those again?

TR: The (FRENCH) and the (FRENCH).

GK: Okay, and the (FRENCH)- that's 45 dollars?

TR: It's not (FRENCH) - it's (FRENCH) -What you said - (FRENCH) That means to put a carrot in your ear and spit through your nose.

GK: Sorry.

TR: So- Decide. Make your choice.

GK: I'm not sure I remember what they are-

TR: Be decisive. Be bold. Courage!

GK: The first one then!

TR: You mean (FRENCH)?

GK: Yes.

TR: If you want (FRENCH), you are an idiot, monsieur. I spit on you (SPIT).

GK: You asked me to decide and I decided!!

TR: Whoever would choose (FRENCH) instead of (FRENCH) is an imbecile.

GK: You know, here in Vermont, there are laws against hate speech.

TR: You are a fool- you are (FRENCH TIRADE)-

GK: Sounds like hate speech to me.

TR: (FRENCH CONTEMPT)

GK: Is there anyone else back there to take my order?

TR: Non. It is only me. Antoine. Serving you, the man who must eat alone. And you do not know what to eat. It's like Sartre said, (FRENCH) - some men should not march, they should lie down and let others march over them.

GK: Okay. Goodbye. (CHAIR PUSHES BACK)

TR: Where are you going?

GK: Some other restaurant. I don't need this abuse.

TR: Come back when you know how to order. Or better yet, don't. (PIANO)

GK: The Café Boeuf. Where the elite meet to eat. A French dining experience right here in Vermont.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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