Steele Away script
Saturday, November 22, 2008

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GK: The Steele Sisters, Jearlyn and Jevetta are here to promote their movie coming soon to a theater near you, an epic saga called Steele Away, the story of a wealthy steel-mill family in Gary, Indiana, and their overpowering wealthy mogul of a father

TR (JIMMY STEWART): Jearlyn— Jevetta — I heard you two singing in the solarium this morning and, don't get me wrong — I love music — but I don't want you two going into music. And surely not the blues, darling.

SS: No, girls. Please. We Steeles have a sterling reputation in this town. Daddy is president of the Gary Country Club and I'm president of the Junior League. And besides that, we're Danish, girls. I am and so are you.

JS: So what?

TR: We're proud of our Danish heritage.

SS: Danes do not sing the blues — in fact, they don't sing.

JS: Danes don sing the blues, Mama, and that's what I'm feeling right now. Blue.

JVS: Me too. We might be Danish but we've still got soul.

(SING) Danes Danes Danes
Danes Danes Danes
Danes Danes Danes Danes sing blues. (BRIDGE)

TR (JIMMY STEWART): I don't know what's happened, girls, but suddenly the economy has gone haywire. The price of steel has dropped and I'm afraid we've gone belly-up.

SS: Daddy has had to quit the country club. And we have to lay off most of the staff.

TR: The gardeners, the upstairs maids, the stableboys, the chauffeur, the cook. They have to go. And we've sold Belle Nuit.

JVS: We're leaving Belle Nuit?

JS: How can we leave Belle Nuit?

SS: We're moving to a two-bedroom apartment in Minneapolis.

JVS: I don't believe it. Minneapolis? Out on the prairie??

(SING): Ain't no mountain to speak of
Ain't no valley I know of
They got a river wide enough
But the rest of it is flat
Flat flat flat
Minnesota is where we'll be at
And we'll have to learn to sing
Flat flat flat

(BRIDGE)

TR (MINN): So welcome to Minnesota then. So this is our speech class, don't you know. Called Walk Softly and Keep Your Mouth Shut. Lesson One: How you doin' then? Notice how you can add on the word "then" to almost any sentence then. Yeah. And you don't have to talk fast then. Talk slow, don't you know. And no eye contact. No, sir. Look at the ground.

JS: This is not right.

JVS: You're telling me. Do we have to wear those snowflake sweaters?

JS: Just put the sweater on and shush. And the long underwear, too. We don't have to like it but we're going to fit in.

JVS: How did this happen to us?

(THEY SING)

I heard it through the soybeans
Gotta wear a sweatshirt and blue jeans
Oh I heard it through the soybeans
Going to the land of losing football teams
Honey honey yeah, don't ya know

(BRIDGE)

SS (MINN): So you two are singers then. Interesting. I thought there was something about you. Yeah, my sister she sings. I never could. Scared me. To be so out there, you know, la la la and all that. But I got my iPod so that's not bad. It sort of helps pass the time when you're cleaning fish. Gotta gut em and scrape em and cut off the fins — It's not bad. Could be worse.

(THEY SING)

Looking out on a foot of snow
I feel so uninspired
No one I want to see, nowhere to go
Lord, I'm feeling old and tired
I've got chores to do, I'm a week behind
And I've got a load of guilt on my mind.

It makes me feel, it makes me feel, it makes me feel
Like a Lutheran woman.

(BRIDGE)

TR (MINN): Now I do not mean this to be critical in any way shape or form, we love you two women in the Zion Lutheran choir, but— I just have to say this— and maybe it's just me or something — but sometimes on the anthem during the offertory it seems to me like you two are singing a little bit behind the beat there, don't you know. And it just sounds funny. So if you could just watch me at the organ and I'll give you the beat, okay? One two three four, like that. One two three four.

(BRIDGE)

JS: A year in Minneapolis and our singing career is going nowhere, Jevetta. It's all I can do just keeping the snow shoveled and canning tomatoes and doing my washing and ironing and fixing lutefisk and boiling potatoes.

JVS: Fixing lutefisk? You? I was wondering why you smelled like that. Thought for a moment you had athlete's foot. Why are you making lutefisk?

JS: It's not for me, it's for Svend.

JVS: Svend? Oh no—

JS: I meant to tell you.

JVS: You're dating a Swede?

JS: A Swede? No way! (LAUGHS) He's Norwegian.

JVS: Why? Why do this to yourself? Do you hate yourself that much?

JS: I do it for love, Jevetta. Don't you understand? — This is as good as it gets here.

(SHE SINGS)

Whenever he calls my name
When he's watching a football game
Right then, I feel
A numbness I can't explain
I feel a chill of 32 degrees
I think this ain't how love is supposed to be
It's like a cold snap just hit my heart
And icicles
Where the teardrops start
Whenever I'm with him
Although he's very nice
Something turns to ice

(BRIDGE)

JVS: I dated a Norwegian for awhile and then I found something better.

JS: A Finn?

JVS: No. Even better. JVS (SINGS):
I just call out his name
And you know wherever I am
Out in the forest
Or in the fog
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All I have to do is call
And he'll be there, yeah yeah yeah
I've got a dog.
I've got a dog. (DOG BARK)

GK: Steele Away, the endless adventures of two heiresses forced to make their way on the frozen tundra of Minneapolis.

JS: There has got to be something better. Somewhere.

JVS: There is.

JS: What?

JVS: I just discovered it last week. There's another city right over there. I-94 goes right there.

JS: I thought that was just east Minneapolis.

JVS: A whole other city.

JS: I had no idea. What's it like?

JVS: It's a miracle.

(SHE SINGS) I've got parking
On a busy day
I've got a Cathedral
Where I can go to pray
Yes it's the U.S.A.
Lovely city right that way
St. Paul. St. Paul. St. Paul. Talking bout St. Paul
St Paul.

It has artists
And fine musicians
It's the state capitol
So it has politicians
Well, here we all are
In the home of MPR
St. Paul. St. Paul. St. Paul
Talking bout St. Paul.
Oh yeah

(REPEAT, OUT)

GK: And that was their big hit song. "St. Paul". And it put the Steele family back on their feet.

TR (JIMMY STEWART): Look, another big royalty check, girls! We can buy a mansion with a swimming pool and hire a staff and buy a couple of Lincoln town cars...

SS: And we'll join the country club and you girls can go hunting and enjoy the mimosas for breakfast and the big buffets with the caviar and oysters and the eggs Benedict—

JVS: We're not into that anymore, Mama. We're Midwesterners now. We don't want to be weird.

JS: We ride bikes now. We don't like caviar and oysters. We eat lentils. Snap peas.

SS: But you girls used to dress up!!!!! The gowns!!! The big hair!!!

JVS: It's not us anymore, Mama. We're into sweatshirts and warm-up pants. Running shoes. Puffy coats.

JS: And we don't want a mansion or Lincoln town cars.

JVS:
What we want
Baby, they got
What we need
Do you know they got it—

M-I-D-W-E-S-T
That is where I want to be
W-I-N T-E-R
Baby you can drive my car.

Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me)
WINTER (sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me)
YES IT'S HERE (just a little bit)
AND I'M FREEZING (just a little bit)
THERE IS WIND CHILL (just a little bit)
BUT I KEEP SHOVELLING (just a little bit)
ALMOST DONE NOW (just a little bit)
I'LL BE SO HAPPY (just a little bit)

M-I-D-W-E-S-T
I'm like you and you're like me
M-I-D-W-E-S-T
So we live in harmony.

(REPEAT UNDER)

GK: Steele Away...coming to a theater near you.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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