A Prairie Home Companion: January 31, 2009

If I Had a Shovel
Saturday, January 31, 2009

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If I had a shovel
I'd shovel out my driveway
I'd start up my car and
I'd pack my suitcase
I'd pack all my T-shirts
I'd pack my Bermudas
I'd say goodbye to my brothers and my sisters
And I would go to a warmer land

If I had G.P.S.
I'd set it for Tucson
I'd let that lady
Tell me where to go
I'd drive through Nebraska
And Denver and Phoenix
I'd leave a message for my brothers and my sisters:
I do not plan ever to return.

If I had the money
I'd buy me a condo
In Arizona
Or Mexico
It would never be winter
There's be no storm warning
And I'd get away from my brothers and my sisters
Vaya con dios, soy mexicano.

But my driveway's endless
And my car is frozen
And I have no G.P.S.
And I am in debt
I just have a hammer
And I have a door bell
And a lousy song about my brothers and my sisters
And now it's all over. The end.

IF I HAD A SHOVEL (IF I HAD A HAMMER)
—Garrison Keillor, Andra Suchy and The Guy’s All-Star Shoe Band
—w: Garrison Keillor © 2009 Maia Maia Music (BMI)
—m: Lee Hayes and Pete Seeger © Ludlow Music Inc.