Appleton Song
Saturday, March 28, 2009

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There's a town in Wisconsin that's second to none
It was the Garden of Eden back when time begun
Eve took a bite of the apple for fun
And said, let's settle here in Appleton

Appleton WIS Appleton WIS
Where you gonna find another place like this
There's happiness there if not downright bliss
And you'd regret it if you ever miss
A chance to visit in Appleton WIS

They've got football basketball baseball and hockey
They're not too far from Chicago and Milwaukee
You can have you a house with a yard and an alley
In Appleton in the Fox River Valley

Appleton WISC Appleton WISC
Got more than you can put on a hard-drive disc
The summers are sweet and the winters brisk
If you visit you run the risk
You might settle down in Appleton WISC

You drive along Wisconsin State Highway 29
And seagulls perch on the powerlines,
In the fields the cows stand and chew
And do the things that cattle do.
Horses and buggies here and there,
A smell of skunk in the air.
And then Appleton is in sight
St. Elizabeth's Hospital on your right
And on your left another community resource,
The River View Country Club golf course.

And then a bridge over the river Fox.
And a man gets out of his car and walks
There on College street is a large ugly statue
That looks like a phallus coming straight at you.
It is called "The Fox River Oracle"
And one hopes it is only metaphorical.

It isn't Milwaukee, it isn't Madison.
But here on College is a Hotel Radisson
And around the corner ---- voila!
The CopperLeaf Boutique Hotel & Spa
Where a person who is crude or raw
Could pick up a little j'e nais sais quoi.

Here's the Performing Arts Center, or PAC,
Where you can go hear the symphony
Or see a dance or a Broadway play
And the train tracks are a hundred yards away
And you might hear a whistle scream
In the middle of "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Or on Sunday morning a similar whistle
In the middle of Paul's epistle
To the Corinthians during mass
At St. Joseph's or at adult Bible class
At Trinity Lutheran nearby
But that lonesome whistle cry
Would not disturb
Most people in the vicinity
Who are engaged in a ritual of Wisconsin masculinity
(For some a hobby, and others a career)
And that's beer.
Beer, beer, day and night.
Budweiser, Schlitz, Miller Lite,
Czech pilsener for the extravagant and for the frugal
There's Leinenkugel.

A city of bars offering hubbub and jollity,
There's Cleo's where every day is a holiday
And the décor must be seen to be believed
Made up of Halloween, Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's, and New Year's Eve,
So if you are looking for an excuse for alcoholic celebration
Cleo's offers you a choice of occasions.

The darkest bar is the Déjà vu.
You don't know who you're talking to.
And after a person has had a few,
You wouldn't know anyway, so what's new?

Saloons like the Dirty Leprechaun, the Ultra Lounge, Drinks Inc and The Bar on the Avenue
And if you aren 't havin' you
A good enough time maybe you will
At Shark's Billiards Bar and Grill
Engaged in drinking and a game of skill.

Ah, the young people on a cold spring night along the Fox River,
We old people in insulated jackets shiver
In the wind and the young go bopping along in t-shirts,
Jackets open, girls in short skirts,
Ignoring the good advice of their mother,
Strolling bare-legged from one bar to another,
Thanks to excellent metabolism.
And nobody there to quiz 'em
On where are you going and who are you with and where is he from?
Young people, beautiful and dumb,
Like spring, a natural force,
Though in the morning there may be remorse
And the room is going around
And your mouth tastes of sweeping compound.
But tonight you are making your way,
Going astray in the great buffet
That is Appleton, Wisconsin, U.S.A.

Fifteen towns in the Valley hallelujah
There's some towns to the east
And some towns to the west
But they're all in the Fox River valley hallelujah

Appleton, Kaukauna, Menasha
Kimberly, Little Chute, Grand Chute,
Buchanan, Harrison, Neenah,
Sherwood, Clayton, Freedom,
Greenville, Vandenbroek, Woodville
All in the Fox River Valley, hallelujah

O what a beautiful valley

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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