Mom script
Saturday, June 6, 2009

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(PHONE RING, 3X, PICKUP)

GK: Hello?

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Duane honey is that you?

GK: Hi mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Do you have a minute honey?

GK: Sure. What's up?

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I don't want to bother you.

GK: It's fine. I'm just sitting at home.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): So you do have a minute then?

GK: Sure.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Because I want you to tell me if now's not a good time.

GK: Mom, it's fine. We can talk.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I'll keep it short then. I'm going to set my stopwatch.

GK: Mom—

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I'll set it for two minutes.

GK: You don't need to set a stopwatch, mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I have a surprise for you honey.

GK: A surprise?

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Guess where we are right now.

GK: I can't guess. SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE) : Just take one guess honey. Come on.

GK: Africa.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Nope.

GK: The Casino.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): We're in Los Angeles and we're at The Price Is Right! Isn't that amazing?!?!?! (TR MURMURS, OFF)

GK: The game show?

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): We have our big nametags on and everything, all ready to go.

GK: I didn't even know you were going to L.A.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Well we wanted it to be a surprise. Remember how you and I used to watch it together?

GK: Mom—

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): We watched that big wheel of fortune, and that Plinko game—that's when you and I used to be so close.

GK: I don't know what to say.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): You'd come home from school, little boy with no friends, and just your mommy and Mr. Bob Barker and it made you so happy. And now Bob Barker is gone and soon I'll be gone too. Sooner than you think. You wanna talk to your dad, here he is. (TR MURMURS, OFF)

GK: It's okay, I don't need to—

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE, OFF): Hurry up though Hank, the show is gonna start soon.

TR: Hello.

GK: Hi Dad.

TR: Hi son.

GK: So you're at The Price is Right, huh?

TR: Yup.

GK: You know that if they tell you to Come On Down, you're supposed to jump up and down and run down the aisle screaming with excitement.

TR: Yep. They told us that.

GK: Think you can handle that?

TR: Oh sure. Not a problem.

GK: Well good luck with that dad.

TR: Thanks. I'll give you back to your mother.

GK: Bye dad.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE, OFF): Well give me the phone Hank, just give it to me, hurry up—Duane? Are you still there?

GK: Still here mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Well they're flashing the lights so I have to go.

GK: Okay, nice talking to you mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I shouldn't have bothered you. I can see that now. My bad.

GK: Come on, mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): After all these years, I'm still trying and I might as well just jump off a cliff.

GK: Mom, let's not go there.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): I'll rent a convertible while your dad is at the Tar Pits. And I'll drive it north along the California Coastline and find a nice piece of cliff and just lay on the gas. Pedal to the metal.

GK: Mom. Stop.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): And for a moment, I'll be able to fly, Duane. Flying through the air in a convertible. A moment of joy, Duane. Joy and wonder. And then it will all be over.

GK: Mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): You'll have to pick my body off the rocks, but it will all be worth it, just for that one moment of joy, which I never got before, Duane. Just one moment is all I ask. (SOBS)

GK: Mom.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): What?

GK: You're not supposed to cry at a game show.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Okay honey.

GK: I could use a new washer dryer if it comes up.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Okay.

GK: Thanks mom. Talk to you later.

SS (MIDWESTERN, ON PHONE): Love you honey.

GK: Love you mom.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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