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Rhubarb script
Saturday, June 20, 2009
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GK: So it’s summer in Chicago (BIRDS, FN BIG SATISFIED SIGH), the sun is shining, people are out riding their bikes (SFX), and it’s beautiful (FN BIG OPERATIC SING) and you feel wonderful — and you update your Facebook book (TAPPING, FN: I am... updating my Facebook page...) and you play a fast game of tennis (SFX) and on your way back you step in a big pile of (SPLORT) — yes, dog stuff— but it’s a beautiful day, and you feel at peace with the world (FN: OMMMMM) and you put on your old Ravi Shankar album (SITAR, TABLA) and you meditate — (FN HUMMING) and what the universe seems to be telling you is —FN REVERB: I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by. (BOAT HORN)
GK: And you go down to the lake and get in the boat. (RIGGING, SAIL) It isn’t your boat, but you can deal with that later. You’ve never sailed but you’ve seen it on movies and (RIGGING, PULLEY) you get the sail up and the wind catches it (SAIL FILLS, WHOOOOOAAAAA) and away you go and you don’t have time to untie it from the dock so (WOODEN BREAKAGE, SHOUTS) the dock comes with you and the sail is out full — (SEAGULLS) And it’s beautiful, it’s incredible, it’s the most thrilling experience you’ve had as an adult— (RIGGING) and you Twitter—
(TAPPING KEYS)
FN: I MUST GO DOWN TO THE SEAS AGAIN FOR THE CALL OF THE RUNNING tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
GK: And suddenly (WHALE) An enormous black whale pushes up alongside the boat and now you look straight ahead and (CRY OF ALARM) — there’s a boat straight ahead and so you leap (SFX) onto the whale’s back (YES!) or what you thought was the whale’s back but actually it was yawning at the time (WHALE SWALLOWING MAN, MAN GOING INTO STOMACH) and you go down the esophagus and into the stomach and it’s very acidy down there, and dark and not pleasant at all—
FN: Okay, Lord — I’m ready to go to Nineveh now.
GK: And thank goodness you walked in that dog poop. Because the whale is getting ready to vomit you up (SFX), the whale is very sick to its stomach (SFX) and finally the whale barfs and out you go (SFX) and you’re thrown up on land in a pool of whale vomit and — (FN: I got it on video!) someone got it on video and it’s going to be seen 3 million times in the next two weeks.
GK: Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of Rhubarb pie? Yes, nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
(RHUBARB CHEER)
ALL:
R-H-U-B-A-R-B
(CLAPS)
MAKES A PERSON WILD AND FREE
(DRUMS)
L-I-B-E-R-T-Y
(CLAPS)
SERVE IT IN A CAKE OR PIE
(DRUMS)
BEBOPAREEBOP
BEBOPAREEBOP
BEBOPAREEBOP
...YEAH.
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