Catchup script
Saturday, September 5, 2009

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TR: These are the good years for Barb and me. A dry summer and not too hot, so we saved money on air conditioning and gas for the lawn mower. Which is good because my employer, NorCom, is going through a strategic realignment. What it means is that we're all laid off and then they offer us our jobs back at half-pay. So when we went to the State Fair, we didn't have the big $7 corn dog, we had a $3 corn dog, and when we had all the milk we could drink for $1, we stayed for almost an hour. And then we went through the Grandstand building and Barb saw a model lake cabin and decided she had to have one—

SS: Oh, Jim. Look at that. A cabin, with a fireplace and a screened porch and bunkbeds — I wish we had one.

TR: Barb, cabins are like boats. It's good to know somebody who has one but you wouldn't want to have one yourself.

SS: Just a simple cabin in the woods with a dock and an outhouse and a nice breeze blowing in off the lake.

TR: Or a nice breeze blowing in off the outhouse. Snakes live in outhouses, Barb. Poisonous snakes. Think about it. You go out there to have a private moment and next thing you know, you're dead with your shorts down around your ankles.

SS: Oh come on Jim — we could sit on a big breezy porch and read books and play cribbage at night... It'd be a romantic getaway.

TR: A romantic getaway like that and our marriage would be over in two weeks.

SS: Why are you always so negative, Jim---

TR: There'd be raccoons in the crawl space and they'd carry some unique virus and we'd eat it in our scrambled eggs and die and they'd find our bodies half eaten by raccoons.

SS: Oh Jim, please. The Murchisons love their lake cabin, they get all happy and relaxed.....

TR: The Murchisons are on a prescription medication to keep them happy and relaxed. And it makes them forget. Listen, all we need is ketchup, Barb

SS: Ketchup?

TR: Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that help you realize you don't need a cabin to feel good. You just need a cool place and an electric fan and an imagination, that's all.

RD (SINGS)
Here it is September,
The weather's not too hot.
The house is nice and quiet,
The kids off being taught.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on a brat.

TR: Speaking of imagination, who's the guy selling the lake cabin? He was winking and nodding at you like he knows you or something—

SS: It's somebody I knew in high school, Jim.

TR: Somebody you dated? An old lost love?

SS: No, don't be silly. I barely know his name.
TR: What did he write on that brochure he gave you?

SS: Did he write something?

TR: It says, “Sweetie, why'd you bring your dad?” What? Where is he?

SS: What you need is some ketchup, Jim. To help you understand that it isn't all about you.

RD (SINGS):
These are the good times
For the summer birds
Heading south for winter
In their great bird herds.
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on cheese curds.

GK: Ketchup, for the good times

RD: Ketchup, ketchup.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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