P.O.E.M.

GK: .....brought to you by the Professional Organization of English Majors. Today, let's review what we learned last week about word usage, choosing the appropriate words for the situation. Today, let's talk about cool and awesome. And totally awesome. Jared, would you care for a mango smoothie?

TR (TEEN): Whatever.

GK: Choose between cool and awesome.

TR (TEEN): Awesome.

GK: A mango smoothie is only awesome to someone
who's been stranded in the Antarctic for a year, Jared.

TR (TEEN): Cool.

GK: Correct. Katelyn, a trip to the Grand Canyon.

SS (TEEN): Cool.

GK: No, the Grand Canyon is awesome, Katelyn. It has always been awesome and it continues to be awesome. There are several hundred awesome places in America and the Grand Canyon is one of them. Okay?

SS (TEEN): Okay. No problem.
GK: Jared, how about Katelyn? What's your feeling about her?

TR (TEEN): She's cool.

SS (TEEN): Cool??? What????

TR (TEEN): Awesome.

GK: Women are awesome, Jared. Never forget that. Some are totally awesome and some are even more totally awesome, but awesome is the baseline for women. John Keats felt that way and William Butler Yeats and Shakespeare—

TR (TEEN): Hey, how come we pronounce Keats Keets and we don't pronounce Yates Yeets?

GK: We'll get to that some other time, Jared.

TR (TEEN): Whatever.

GK: English is not a simple language.

TR (TEEN): No problem.

GK: But women are totally awesome.

TK: (TEEN): Cool.

GK: A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.