The Town Hall
New York City, NY«archive page
GK: We’re in New York ----- crowded (HORNS), loud, wildly expensive, and there’s always a lot of testosterone going on here -----
TR (BELLOW): HEY. YOU.
FN (BELLOW): WHO? ME?
TR (BELLOW): YEAH. YOU.
GK: The urge toward dominance. So different from the Midwest. But we love it here. Because after you’ve landed at LaGuardia in a high wind, (PLANE SHAKING, DESCENT) coming in low over Long Island Sound….toward a rather short runway (TIRES SCREECH) ----- and a receiving cable across the runway catches the wheels of the plane and brings you to a sudden stop (YAWWWPP OF CABLE MECHANISM, BRAKES) ---- after you’ve experienced that landing, then everything else seems pretty easy. A ride in a taxi driven by a man from a country where there are no traffic laws (TR ARABIC, CAR REV, GEAR SHIFT, HORN HONKS, REV AND RACE). A hotel room in Midtown that costs $200 per hour and it’s on the second-floor directly above the saxophonist on the sidewalk (SAX) who plays until the Dept of Sanitation comes (CLATTER, TRASH COMPACTER). To save money, you ride the subway (SUBWAY DOORS, ANNC) and somewhere under the East River the train stops (BRAKES)
GK: …and the conductor comes on the PA and makes an announcement (FN PA UNINTELLIGIBLE).
And then somebody plays the saxophone (SAX).
You walk around the city and you are sometimes accosted by crazy people -----
SS (WITCHY): Hello my pretty. Do you know what I have in my pocket? Do you? It’s a secret! Hehehehehehehehe.
GK: Sometimes hard to tell the crazy people from the others. People walking along with imaginary friends who they aren’t getting along with.
TR: I don’t know what you’re talking about!!! What do you mean, “terrible things”??? Name one. You’re crazy. I mean it.
GK: And then you see they’re talking on cellphones. Okay---- No problem.
You need to walk with confidence in New York. Pedestrians rule. Do not yield to cars, no matter what. (CARS PASS, FAST) Learn to jaywalk. Remember, they’re more afraid of you than you are of them. (HONK, SCREECH OF BRAKES)
Enjoy the city. The little jazz clubs (JAZZ BASS) and the little restaurants on the side streets (TR FRENCH) and the subway (FN INCOMPEHENSIBLE ANNC) because all too soon comes your departure from LaGuardia.
FN (PILOT): This is your pilot speaking. We are No. 1 for takeoff. Due to the short runway, we use a catapult to get us up to speed and so---- if we could have everyone put your heads between your knees and brace.
SS (ELECTRONIC): Brace. Brace. Brace.
(CATAPULT, JET TAKEOFF)
GK: New York. Good to be here.
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).