January 23, 2010
Mayo Civic Center

Rochester, MN

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Rhubarb

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GK: So you're having a good day — you wake up in the midst of a dream in which you've shot a grizzly bear in the eye (GUNSHOT) and saved the life of a small child (THANK YOU THANK YOU, MISTER MAN). And you wake up, and shower (SFX) and have your granola and yoghurt (SFX) and you make a cup of espresso with the machine you got for Christmas (SFX) and then you remember (WHOA) you've got to get your hair cut — you're going to the Boy Scout fundraiser tonight —so you race to your hair salon, and Bob who cuts your hair is gone. His chair is empty.

SS (MONO): Bob's gone. He went berserk and had to retire. My name is Shakti. I can do your hair. Or J.D. will be free in a little while.

GK: Her hair is cut sort of lopsided, long bangs in front, shaved in back, and it was streaked with pink the color of cotton candy.

TK: Uh— let me check my voice mail, make sure I have time.

SS: Okay. Let me know if you want me to.

TK: Okay, I will. I just have to check my calendar too.

SS: Fine.

GK: You don't want her to cut your hair. You want someone like Bob.”? Bob was a real normal hair cutter.

TR (MINN, SNIPPING): Yeah, they say it's supposed to get cold again. That's what they say. Good to be able to get out on the ice and fish again, huh? Yeah. I go ice fishing with my brother in law. Got a nice fish house up on Mille Lacs. Stove, bunks, the whole shootin match. Yeah. — Yessir. — Quite the deal.

GK: But you sit there, not wanting to upset anybody, not wanting anybody to get mad at you. And J.D. comes in.

TR (STONER): Hey dude. Awesome. Totally. Hop in the chair, I'll get a cloth.

GK: So you sit in the chair.

TR (STONER): Okay. What we got going on here?

TK: Not too much off the top, just trim the sides.


TR: Man— your hair. I mean, this is great. Just totally awesome. I love your hair. What we're going to do is like do some shape-changing, okay? (BIG SCISSOR CUTS) sort of like reduce the outline and lighten it up in back (BIG SWOOSHES WITH SHAVER) and I'm going to put on some coloring — (SPRAYING) green and red and white and blue and —

GK: You fall asleep in the chair and you dream that a grizzly comes after you and chases you up a tree (BEAR) and rips your pants off (RIP) —and then you wake up. (TK IN SHOCK)

TR (STONER): Wow. It's like a work of art or something. What do you think? Like it?
(HEARTBEAT)

GK: You look like you went through brain surgery in a tornado. And now you remember — you're supposed to speak to the Boy Scout fundraiser, a speech on personal responsibility. Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie—

(SINGS):

One little thing can revive a guy,
And that is home-made rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.

ALL:

Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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