The Paramount Theatre
Seattle, WA«archive page
GK: It’s the city on hills and the Paramount Theater sits up here above downtown on Pine Street so we’re going to see what happens when we release the emergency brake on this car here (RATCHET) and put the gearshift in neutral (SHIFT) ----- see what it hits on the way down---- (PAUSE) Oh, it’s a Seattle car, you have to hit Control-Alt-Delete-Shift --- okay, it’s starting to roll slowly (SFX) and it’s rolling down Capitol Hill and it (IMPACT) bounces off a streetlight and into a big puddle (SPLASH) (YELL) and just misses a man with an umbrella ---- somebody not from here ----- and (GLASS BREAKAGE) it is in Nordstrom’s and it hit the manikin with the thermal tuxedo and now it glances off and (ROLLING) down the hill it goes (HORNS HONKING) across the Street and under the Monorail and there goes the monorail train (BRAKES) and the impact makes it reverse direction (MONORAIL ACCEL) and now the runaway car is picking up speed and (BWANG) it hit the Space Needle and now the revolving restaurant is spinning (ACCEL AND CRIES OF PATRONS) and now it’s headed for the Pike Place Market and a big pile of fresh fish on ice (SFX) and it keeps going through the shop that sells wind chimes (SFX) and down the steep hill toward the Alaskan Way Viaduct (TRAFFIC) and through another puddle (SPLASH) towards the trolley tracks and there goes the trolley (TRAIN PASSING, CLOSE MISS WITH CAR) and the runaway car just misses it and over the boardwalk along the waterfront (JIGGLE OF CAR ON BOARDS) and into the fried clam restaurant (SFX)…
GK: …and onto the houseboat (IMPACT) which comes loose from its moorings and into Puget Sound it goes (FERRYBOAT HORN) into the path of the ferry to Bainbridge Island which fires a torpedo (SFX) and (EXPLOSION) hits the houseboat and it sinks (SFX) and that’s what happens if you don’t park your car with the emergency on.
Okay, let’s try that again with this truck, which happens to be full of chickens (SFX) ----- we’ll release the brake (RATCHET) and put it in neutral (SHIFT) (TRUCK ROLLING, CHICKENS) and down the hill it goes, down the middle of Pine Street, rolling slowly (SFX) and picking up speed and it (IMPACT) hits that same streetlight and goes through that same puddle (SPLASH) and (YELL) just misses that same man with an umbrella ---- and (GLASS BREAKAGE) into a Starbucks (ESPRESSO) where people sit at laptops watching the first runaway car on YouTube (YELLING) and truck goes (ROLLING, CHICKENS) down the hill it goes (HORNS HONKING) picking up speed and (BWANG) it hit Elliot Bay Bookstore (HEY) where an author is doing a book signing (ROLLING, CHICKENS) and one chicken has taken the wheel of the truck (ROOSTER CROW) and steers it past a burlesque house (DRUMS) where Miss Dusty Rhodes is doing her big number (SHRIEK) and now the truck is headed for the Pike Place Market and the live lobster tank (BUBBLING, CRASH OF GLASS, WHOOSH OF WATER, CHICKENS)…
GK:…and the lobsters have been liberated and it keeps going through the shop that sells wind chimes (SFX) again and down the steep hill toward the Alaskan Way Viaduct (SIREN) where emergency vehicles are on their way to investigate the first car and now here comes the southbound trolley (TRAIN PASSING, CLOSE MISS WITH TRUCK, CHICKENS) and the runaway car just misses it and over the boardwalk along the waterfront (JIGGLE OF TRUCK ON BOARDS) and it hits a yoghurt wagon (SFX) and into Puget Sound it goes (SPLASH) and the truckload of chickens is afloat (CHICKENS) and the ferry is heading toward it (FERRYBOAT HORN) and the chickens bail out (CHICKEN FLURRY) and I never knew chickens could swim but there they go (SFX) and the ferry fires a torpedo (SFX) and (EXPLOSION) hits the truck and it sinks (SFX) and I think we’ve learned something from this: put your parking brakes on and never get in the way of a Seattle ferryboat. (FERRYBOAT HORN)
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).