April 17, 2010
New Jersey Performing Arts Center

Newark, NJ

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Rhubarb

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GK: ...after this message from Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie and Rhubarb Pie filling. (SURF, GULLS, BARE FEET IN WET SAND) It's April and it’s getting tough in America’s high schools. (KLAXON ALARM. TR: Alert orange.....alert orange....inmates in the parking lot. SIREN) Everyone’s thinking about summer. Thinking about coconut oil (SPLORT), and alcohol (POP TOP) and wild dancing (WHOOPEES), and easy intimacy— (LICENTIOUS GROAN). Your job is to try to teach English as a first language to teenagers but nobody s interested. (TR: This is the subject. This is the verb. He felt lousy. Okay? Lousy is an adverb because it describes a verb. Everybody with me so far?) and it's miserable work, and so frustrating (TR: No. That's the subject. He. This is the verb. Felt. Okay?) that every hour you have to go to the teacher's lounge for two minutes and let it all out (TR: BERSERK DESPERATE SCREECH), and there you find the superintendent of schools (FN BABBLING) and he’s wandering around with a glass of gin and his eyes are spinning and he’s got the petty cash drawer in his hand and you make the mistake of offering him a ride home (TR: This way, Mr. Bobendrier. Watch your head here. ) and you take the cash drawer away and get him into your car (FN BABBLING) and you find his home there on Windermere Drive (CAR) and you pull up in the driveway and get out (TR: You’re home, Mr. Bobendrier) and suddenly you hear galloping feet (SFX) and the big dog lands on your back (TR OOOFFF, DOG GROWL)...
....And pins you face-down in the dirt and your superintendent’s vision clears. (FN: Why, Mr. Burns. What are you doing trying to break into my house?) And he calls the police (DISTANT SIREN). And when they arrive, it’s you with the petty cash, and he’s all sober. (FN: I’m astonished at your behavior, sir.) It's at times like that, you want Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. Yes, nothing gets the taste of humiliation out of your mouth like Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

(SINGS)

But one little thing can revive a guy,
And that is home-made rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot.
Maybe things aren’t as bad as you thought

DUET:

Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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