May 22, 2010
The Fox Theatre

Atlanta, GA

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Gone

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GK: Back in the early 1930s when Margaret Mitchell was working on what became Gone With The Wind, someone told her that a novel set at the time of the Civil War would never sell and so she revised it and set it in the future and called it; COME WITH THE WIND. Here is that early version of the famous novel.;;;

(MOVIE THEME)

TR: Tara, Scarlett. Our home. Our plantation.

SS:; I’m going to do some time-travelling, Daddy. I’ll return in a year or two.

TR: But that blouse — it shows your navel, Scarlett. You can’t go around like that.

SS: Whatever. Who cares. Times change. Specially if you move forward.; (SFX TIME TRAVEL, W CHORDS); Oh my. Look. People traveling in little steel boxes. And listening to music with little things in their ears. And what’s this big screen here? — It’s a book of faces. Beautiful faces. And here is one that appeals to me in all sorts of ways. Ashley. I’ll send him a note. (BEEPS) OMG Ashley. U are awesome. Totally. But what is this? “In a relationship”?;

FN: It’s true. I’m marrying Melanie, Scarlett.
SS: What?? But I love you, I love you.

RB: Hey, what about me— The name’s Butler. Rhett Butler. I’m educated, a gentleman, own my own home, spiritual, not religious, not hung up on things. Open to new experiences.

SS: Rhett Butler! You look at me as if you know what I look like without my shimmy.

RB: I got some ideas.

SS: Then you are no gentleman, sir.

RB: And you, Miss, are no lady. That’s what I like about you.

TR (OFF): A meteoroid is approaching the Earth!; (BUGLE) Activate the laser shield! (HUM OF LASERS. SPACE SOUNDS. SHOUTS OF ALARM. LOW HUM OF METEOROID AND IMPACT. (DIXIE ON BANJO, SLOW, MOURNFUL)

SS: Tara. The meteoroid hit Tara. It’s all lost. And Atlanta is in ruins.; And me, Scarlett, a widow, and pregnant.; That’s my update.

RB: Nice to see you again, Miss Scarlett. I see that you’re not in a relationship anymore.;

SS: Rhett Butler! What are you doing here??

RB: I figured out how to get into this chat room, Scarlett.

SS:; I don’t want to chat with you, Rhett Butler.

RB: Don’t unfriend me, Scarlett. You need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.

SS: I’m out of here— (BIG SLAP)
(MOVIE THEME)

TR (OFF): The pterodactyl is coming! That meteorite has released giant mutant creatures from deep in the earth. Like that pterodactyl. (PTERODACTYL. VOICES ON WALKIE-TALKIE. CRIES OF ALARM, DISTANT GUNFIRE. PLANES DIVE-BOMBING. PTERODACTYL SCREECH AND BIG FEET STRIDES.

(DIXIE BANJO, SLOW) —

SS: That mutant prehistoric pterodactyl has destroyed Tara.; My mother is dead— my father lost his mind. (TR LUNATIC) But I’ll text Rhett and see if he can help me.

RB:; (TYPING) U R No Good, Scarlett. It’s 2 L8.

SS: Okay, I’ll get in a relationship with Frank. Hi Frank.

FN: Scarlett!

SS: Would you mind if I put my hand in your pocket, Frank?

FN: Wow.
(FAST DIXIE ON BANJO)

SS: (MOANING) (CRY OF INFANT) Another baby! So soon. And another husband dead. I just keep making the same mistake over and over. I believe I need a therapist or something.

TR (DR. PHIL): Wake up and smell the coffee, girl. Have you ever heard the term narcissist? Hello. Get real. Stop being a victim. Learn to deal with stress in your life. Effective communication begins with honesty.

(MOVIE THEME)

SS: Rhett! Rhett Butler. In real time. I’d forgotten how good looking you are. How height-weight proportionate.

RB: I can’t go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands. Have a relationship with me, Scarlett.

SS: Okay by me. (INFANT CRY) Wow, that was fast. Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.

RB: My daughter. Bonnie Blue. I’m so proud. Even though I know she will soon turn against me and reject me and all my values and get tattoos and piercings and tell me I ruined her life.;

SS: You didn’t ruin her life but you ruined mine. I hate you, Rhett Butler, and I hate what you’ve turned me into. This manipulative though still beautiful woman with vast self-esteem issues.

RB: Ha! And you— still chasing Ashley Wilkes as Melanie lies on her deathbed.

SS: It’s not true!

RB: I'm going up north, back where people don’t talk like this and don’t waste their lives getting mixed up in these impossible tangled relationships.

SS: Rhett, if you go, where shall I go? What shall I do?

RB: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!
(FOOTSTEPS AWAY. DOOR SLAM. HORSE GALLOPS OFF)


SS:; I’ll think of a way to get him back. Or not. Maybe I’ll find closure. That’s what we need in the South. Closure. (THEME UP). After all, tomorrow is another day. Let’s just move on. And tomorrow we’ll have social networking. Rhett Butler isn’t the only man on earth. “Attractive mature woman, newly single, seeks man who is man enough to appreciate me for who I am. Headstrong, yes— vain, maybe— but memorable. Totally.”

MUSIC UP

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

Available now»

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