October 2, 2010
Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN

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GK: You're in love, you're planning a small wedding, a few friends and family, no need for a big public spectacle, but you haven't told your mom yet, and you know what that's going to lead to.

SS (ECSTATIC, SQUEALING, WEEPY): Oh honey. Oh I am so happy. I can't tell you how happy I am. This is the most wonderful thing you could have done for me. My daughter. Oh honey. I can't wait to help you plan your wedding. My little girl. All grown up. Your wedding. (BRIDGE)

GK: It means a wedding at the Cathedral (BIG BELLS, TRUMPET FANFARE) and 500 guests, some of whom you will know, and the archbishop will preside------

TR (BRIT, JOWLY): Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Roger and Ellen, who are prepared to take each other to be the other person's spouse, and vice versa. 

GK: And there'll be a huge reception aboard a chartered boat (SHIP HORN) and it's going to cost you $43,000.

TK: 43 thousand dollars???? That can't be right.

GK: Forty-three thousand dollars. It's a choice between that and Don's Drive-In Chapel, home of the Five-Minute $19 wedding.

TR (DON): Hi, I'm Don. I'm your minister. Welcome. No need to even get out of your car. I'll just sit here in the backseat. Just sign there and she signs there and here's your soloist----

I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

TR: And raise your hands and say yes.

SS: Yes!

TK: Yes.

TR (DON): You two are married!!!! Here's the rice! (BURST OF RICE) Congratulations. (HORN HONKS) And the champagne. (CORK POP) Kiss the bride. (KISS) Next!

GK: It's up to you, spend $43,000 and make your mom happy with the big Hollywood wedding at the Cathedral, or go to Don's Drive-In Chapel. And now, Don's is also available for funerals.

TR (DON): And now let the corruptible put on the incorruptible and we commend him to God's loving mercy. Amen.

SS (OFF): Her.

TR (DON): And we commend him to her loving mercy. Amen.

SS (OFF): The dead lady.

TR (DON): And we commend her to God's loving mercy. Amen.

ANDRA (SINGS): Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?

TR (DON): Go in peace and here's the ashes. (CLONK) ---- Next.

GK: Don's Drive-In Chapel ----- life's transitions don't need to be expensive. You can spend $43,000 or $19. It's up to you.

TR (DON): No need to make an appointment, just drive up to the big Chapel doors and honk your horn. (TWO HONKS)

GK: Don's Drive-In Chapel. Marriage is marriage, death is death. You can spend more but why? And now, if you marry three times, the fourth one is on us. At Don's Drive-In Chapel. (ORGAN BUTTON)

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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