Duct Tape

GK: Our show brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council. With family coming for Thanksgiving, you want to get your home shipshape, but unfortunately there just isn't time between now and Thursday ---- you're going to have to call in a contractor and I don't think he's going to have good news for you ----- (FN: Boy, you've got a lot of water damage up there----- we're going to have to get up in the ceiling ----- call in a plumbing contractor ----- we're talking $50 thou minimum, could go 75, 80, I donno ----- (CRUNCH) see? That's all rotten there. (CRUNCH) There too.) ----- what can you do in just three days? Duct tape. Repair water leaks. Big cracks in the ceiling. Bathroom tiles falling off. Holes in the wall. And now duct tape comes in festive holiday colors that make desperate last-minute repairs look like decorations. Did you know that with the money you can save by using duct tape, you could take your wife to Acapulco for three months? (SS: WHEEEEE!)

FN (SINGS):
Anything loose or broken, it keeps it in place to stay.
Life is too short to spend it on maintenance. Try duct tape today.

GK: Use duct tape for all home repairs and spend three months in Acapulco. (DIVING BOARD, SPLASH) A message from the American Duct Tape Council.