December 11, 2010
New York, NY
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Duct Tape

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GK:  ...after a message from the American Duct Tape Council. More and more people ride bikes in New York City ----- going over the Brooklyn Bridge (TRAFFIC),  riding up the West Side Highway trail (BOAT HORN), people who do it instead of going to therapy,  despite the danger ---- the danger in Midtown of being run down by a messenger on a bike (WHISTLE, MESSENGER CRY AS HE ZOOMS PAST) or by some serious biker in a neon Spandex suit pumping along at 40 mph (BIKE RACES PAST). Cars are a hazard too. (HONK, BRAKES) and you've got to look out for someone opening their car door in your face (YELL, CRUNCH), and then there's jaywalking pedestrians (LOOK OUT!!!!), and the danger of potholes (BIKE HITS POTHOLE,BWANGGNGNGNGN), and of course open manholes (CRY OF BIKER FALLING DOWN MANHOLE, LONG ECHOEY FALL)—or sometimes , due to steam buildup, the manholes blow up (EXPLOSION, BIKER CATAPAULTS INTO THE SKY). And then there are bicycle thieves. You have to lock up your bike with a U Lock that you slip that through the back wheel and attach to a street sign (LOCK), and then you take your cable lock and you hook that to the U-Lock (SFX) and you run it around and through your front wheel (SFX), and you lock down your seat with a bicycle chain (SFX), and you remove any lights (SFX) or horns (SFX) or baskets, but even so the thieves will come. They'll use a lock clipper (LOCK CLIPPER), a hand saw (HAND SAW), a blow torch (BLOW TORCH), a chain saw (CHAIN SAW)-GK: --small explosives (EXPLOSION) a pit bull (STRONG DOG CHEWS)— and what's the answer? Duct Tape (DUCT TAPE UNWINDS). Yes, after you've locked up the bike, when you wrap the entire frame of your bike with Duct Tape, you make it look like a piece of junk---nothing anybody would want to steal. And Duct Tape can patch a blown tire (POP, HISS, QUICK DUCT TAPE FIX), or even set a broken bone until you can get to the hospital.

Better biking through Duct Tape.  A message from the American Duct Tape Council.