January 8, 2011
Fitzgerald Theater, St. Paul, MN
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Drama

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GK: I used to listen to radio shows from St. Paul when I was a kid and one of my favorites was this one-----

TK (CONDUCTOR, REVERB): UNION... STATION...

(STEAM ENGINE TRAIN COMING TO A STOP, HISS, MUSIC)

TR:  Along the Mississippi River run the shining steel tracks north toward the bustling metropolis of St. Paul and the great stone temple where human lives converge and intersect ----every hour, day and night in----UNION STATION......
(THEME UNDER)

GK: Beverly! ----- Beverly!!! Hi! (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) Hello, darling!

SS (COOLLY): Oh. Hello, Carson.

GK: How was your trip? I came to pick you up. Like I said I would.

SS (COOLLY): So you didn't get my message?

GK: What message?

SS (COOLLY): I texted you, Carson. A couple hours ago.

GK: Oh. I guess I didn't see it.

SS: Where is your cellphone, Carson?

GK: I don't know, darling. I guess I left it in my other jacket.

SS: How do you expect me to communicate with you, Carson, if you don't have a cellphone? 

GK: Well, I just forgot. I'm sorry.

SS: You're so far behind---- you really need to catch up-----

GK: Anyway, I'm here and where's your luggage?

SS: Carson. That's what my text message was about.

GK: What did the message say, Beverly?
(RUNNING FOOTSTEPS AND STOP)

TR: Here, darling----- I found a porter to carry our bags----- I've texted a taxicab and I've texted the hotel and I've sent an email to the minister. Oh----- who's this?

SS: This is Carson, Stephan.

TR: Oh. Friend of yours?

SS: He used to be, yes----- I'll tell you all about it later, darling------

GK: Stephan-----

SS: I told you all about it in the text message, Carson.

GK: But----

TR: Excuse me while I Twitter, darling-----"Arrived in St. Paul. Some big galoot here to meet us. Off to church now."

GK: Church? I didn't know you attended church, darling---

SS: It's all in the text message, Carson.

TR: "Here with WOMD and couldn't be happier."

GK: WOMD?

SS: Woman Of My Dreams.

GK: You mean----

SS: We're getting married, Carson------

GK: Married?????

SS: Stephan is totally connected, Carson. He tweets, he updates Facebook, he Skypes, he chats, he has thousands of friends and almost a half-million followers. And meanwhile you----- you're still sending postcards to people. I couldn't bear to kiss you anymore because you had mucilage on your tongue from licking stamps.

TR: Come, darling. Let's go.

SS: Goodbye. Try to learn to text, Carson. Life moves on. Ciao. (FOOTSTEPS OFF)

(FOUR BEATS) ------ (PASSERSBY)

TK (ON P.A.): Now boarding on track 11 ----- the Prairie Express ----- with stops at St. Cloud, Breckenridge, Fargo, Jamestown, and Bismarck, ND -----

GK: Bismarck. Mom and Dad. The farm. I could be there in 8 hours. Excuse me----- what's one-way fare to Bismarck?

SS (CLERK): Fifty-seven dollars and forty-two cents.

GK: Coach?

SS (CLERK): Yes, of course. There are no first-class accommodations to Bismarck, North Dakota. 
GK: Fifty-seven dollars. All I have on me is a few bucks. (BUMP) Oh. Excuse me. (TR REACT) Wasn't looking where I was going----- I'm sorry. Are you okay?

TR: I can't believe it. Is your name Carson?

GK: Yes-----

TR: Carson-----

GK: Yes.

TR: I've looked for you for more than a year----- ever since that day I got a postcard from you.

GK: Oh?

TR: I'm Daryl Holmberg, star of the TV series "Abandoned" ----

GK: Oh. Right. Didn't recognize you. I'm a big fan of yours.

TR: I know. And I owe you more than I can ever pay.

GK: Oh you don't owe me anything----- it was just a postcard from a fan, telling you how much I love the show.

TR: I was reading it while I walked down Wilshire Boulevard and then the wind blew it out of my hand and I chased it just as a truck went out of control and smashed into the hair salon that I was just coming out of. If it hadn't been for your postcard, I'd have been crushed against the building. Here. Take this.

GK: Oh. I can't. Virtue is its own reward.

TR: Please. Take it.

GK: A ten-thousand dollar bill-----

TR: For you------God bless you.

GK: I had no idea they made ten-thousand dollar bills.

TR: We've got a lot of them in cable TV.

GK: Thank you, sir. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(FOOTSTEPS, CROWD PASSING) I walked through the train station, feeling that I had gotten a fresh chance in life,.... And then I = saw the old accordionist (RD ACCORDION, "La Vie En Rose") sitting on a chair by the open accordion case with a few dollar bills in it and he was playing a tune my mother used to sing to me ----- sitting in the kitchen-----

(SS SINGS:
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
ll me parle tout bas
Je vois la vie en rose)

GK: ...We were French Canadian, Catholic in a Lutheran town, so we just didn't fit it, and all my life I've felt that things just don't go right for me but now (TRAIN WHISTLE, STARTING UP) ---- I was returning to Bismarck with fresh hope ---- I sat in the club car and ordered the steak dinner, feeling like life had dealt me a new hand and then----  I looked in my pocket for that ten-thousand dollar bill and ----- it wasn't there----- and realized that I had put it in the accordion case of the old musician in the train station

(SS SINGS ECHO:
Quand il me prend dans ses bras
ll me parle tout bas ----) I had thrown away my money on a memory. (STING) And I looked out the window at the snow falling……the wind blowing...(SFX) we were beyond St. Paul and Minneapolis, out on the open prairie and there was deep snow...the train was slowing down (SFX) and a pack of wolves had gathered alongside the tracks and were following us (SFX) ...and then I noticed that I was the only passenger on the train. The only one. (THEME)

TR: Join us again tomorrow when we bring you UNION STATION. In the heart of St. Paul, human lives converge and intersect ----every hour, day and night in---- UNION STATION. 

(THEME UNDER)