Spring, April 2, 2011
Town Hall in New York, NY
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Spring

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GK: A Robin has been Spotted by the George Washington Bridge.

Bluebells are blooming in the Bronx

JS: People are eating outdoors, wearing coats and scarves, sometimes under heat lamps, but still outdoors.

GK: A garter snake is lying in the sun on the sidewalk and the maple tree has just begun to bloom.

Chinese witch hazel’s blooming on the Upper East Side, The Mr. Softee trucks are on the street. (MR SOFTEE TUNE)

(OVER VIOLIN BRIDGE)

(GEESE FLYING OVERHEAD)

That is the Canada goose right there. They mate for life, as you probably know, and they are establishing their nesting grounds now which often are on islands in ponds near where the female was hatched. (HONK) That’s the female. (HONK) And that’s the male. You can hear the difference. (HONK, HONK).

In Central Park the boats come out on April 5; the fountains will be turned on sometime in the next two weeks.

The autumn leaves have been raked into piles and the new grass seed is planted and the mulch has all been spread.

Yellow daffodils and purple crocuses are blooming by the park bench and the lovers making out.

Younger people lying on a rocky ledge in canvas jackets reading books and smoking cigarettes.

(OVER VIOLIN BRIDGE)

The Frisbee crowd is out, tossing the Frisbee back and forth (SFX), a throw under the leg (SFX) and it goes long and it hangs up in the air (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS) and he chasing after it and (BARKS) a dog beats him to it and leaps (SFX) and makes a great mouth grab and now (GROWL) he won’t give the Frisbee back.

Younger women looking solemn writing in their journals and I hope they’re writing something about hope.

Monarch butterflies have flown from Mexico and have been seen as far north as North Carolina.

Ants are crawling up the window. sandhill Cranes in Indiana, loons are seen in Maine and Wisconsin. (LOON)

Smell the grass and listen to the birds out singing in the fog after the early morning rain.

GK: Here in New York people are feeling easier now that the Egyptian cobra who had been missing from the zoo for a week has been found in the Reptile House of the zoo. So now people can come out of their apartments. And that’s good because there was a story about a rat getting into someone’s apartment by way of their toilet. A horrible thing to contemplate.

FN: I’ll be right there, honey ----- just going to use the john first. (DOOR CLOSE) I’ll be out in a couple of minutes.

SS: Why are you taking a book in there?

FN (INSIDE): Never mind. I’ll be out in a minute.

GK: What they recommend is that you squirt dish soap into the toilet bowl before you sit down which makes the sides too slippery for the rat to climb out. (SQUORTS)

FN: Good. That should take care of it. (HE SITS DOWN, RELAXES) (PAUSE, KNOCKS ON DOOR) I’m in here, I’ll be out in a few minutes.

GK: No, actually you’ll be out in about 15 seconds.

(FN SCREAM) (FLURRY OF CLOTHING, DOOR OPEN, SLAM) (RUNNING FEET)

SS: Daddy!!!! What are you doing????

FN: Stand back, Jennifer. (FOOTSTEPS, SLOW. DOOR OPEN) (ROAR OF RAT, SHOTGUN BLASTS)

GK: That takes care of the rat but now you’ve shot up your toilet (HIGH-PRESSURE SPRAY) and you’ve got water all over the place. And more rats (RATS) (GUNSHOTS) --

If it weren’t for your love of good food, you might almost rather live someplace else. Where else can you get really really good shrimp curry delivered by a kid on a bike (BIKE HORN) to your apartment at midnight?

So you endure the rats. These are big rats, rats the size of cats. (RAT SNARLS) And the rat population is growing because the vast majority of New Yorkers do not carry guns. So the rats’ main adversary is the rat terrier (BARKS) but most rat terriers in New York are on leashes. Letting dogs run free in the streets of New York is one of those unthinkable things (PACK OF DOGS), along with encouraging New Yorkers to carry guns (SPIN CYLINDER, FN NYER: Where is that seafood fettucine I ordered fifteen minutes ago?). Along with allowing a right turn on a red light (SCREECH OF TIRES, HORN, CRUNCH, YELLING) ----- unthinkable in New York.

So we accept the presence of rats, who are attracted, same as we are, by good food. Where else can a rat get really really good shrimp curry in the middle of the night? (RAT EATING)

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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