SFX, April 23, 2011
Town Hall in New York, NY
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SFX

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GK: Summer vacations are ahead and those long car trips that we all know so well.

TR (KID): Dad---- I have to go Number one----

FN: I asked you back at the gas station if you had to go and you said no.

TR: I need to go now.

FN: I am not stopping the car whenever you get it in your head that ----

SS: Rick, stop the car.

FN: If he has to go he should have gone back there when I asked him.

TR: But I didn't have to go before!

SS: Rick, stop the car!

FN: We were at a gas station not fifteen minutes ago.

SS: I said, Stop.

TR: Too late. I went.

GK: Hours crossing the Great Plains and all that flatness around you and you listen to public radio for awhile-----

FN: This is Ann Taylor.
          And I'm Cory Flintoff.

TR: This is Robert Siegel.

SS: And I'm Terry Gross with Fresh Air.

FN: Our fiscal year is coming to an end and so we're asking for your support.

TR: A dollar, two dollars, fifty cents, whatever you can afford ---- if you send small change, please Scotch-tape it to a card ---- don't send it loose.

GK: You search the radio dial for something lively and compelling.

(RADIO DIAL. HIP HOP INTO TR RUSH: My friends, the liberal conspiracy knows no limits, no sense of decency whatsoever. You are not going to believe what they------- HEAVY METAL ------ SS: And it says in Leviticus the second chapter the fourteenth verse ----- it is an abomination unto the Lord. What does this mean abomination? Is it a good thing? ----- TR: Thank you for taking my call. Doctor, I've got these sores and lesions all up and down my left leg and there's some drainage, a clear fluid----- SS: That's one cup of sugar. A quarter pound of butter. A quarter teaspoon of cinnamon. And bring a half cup of water to a slow boil. HIP HOP

GK: In desperation you carry audio books on CDs that your aunt gave you for Christmas, your aunt who is a huge fan of the Brontes.

SS (BRIT): On an afternoon in April, when the cold blue sky was half hidden by dark grey clouds in the west, and a chill wind blew across the hazels and oaks, I discovered, while hurrying home, I had dropped my keys and was unable to gain entrance to my house and so was at the mercy of Edgar.

GK: If you find car trips tedious, that's because you've never travelled long distances with our Fred Newman. Having a sound effects man in the car with you is no end of pleasure.

FN: HONKS. BIG SEMI HONK. Look out. TRAIN DOPPLER AT RAILROAD CROSSING.

GK: With Fred in the car, you're no longer driving across Kansas, you're in a war zone. (DIVE BOMBERS, MACHINEGUN STRAFING. BIG EXPLOSIONS) You're in the middle of an adventure movie. (SIREN. P.A.: PULL OVER, WE'VE GOT YOU SURROUNDED. CHOPPER)

Now you can make your car trip livelier with Fred Newman Interactive Audio ---- it actually responds to conversation inside the car -----

TR: I have to go potty, Daddy.

FN: OH NO. LOOK OUT. PTERODACTYL FLIES OVERHEAD. "O MY GOSH"

SS: Pull over, Rick.

FN (ZOMBIE): Yes, pull over, Rick. I want to put a straw in your ear and eat your brains. (SFX)

GK: Car trips are more fun with Fred Newman Audio Systems installed in your car (DOG BARKS, TIGER, ELEPHANT) ----- no falling asleep with The Fred Newman Audio System (SERIES OF HORNS, KLAXON, SIREN, ALARMS). Look for it in the Yellow Pages under Sound.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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