The Fox Theater, Detroit, MI
TR (ANNC): And now, from the hushed reading room of the Herndon County Library, we bring you: Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian.
SS: Well, our poetry wall was a big hit for poetry month. There must be two hundred poems up there.
FN (TEEN): One hundred and forty-three, Miss Harrison. I counted.
SS: Seems like everyone in Herndon County wrote a poem for the wall. Look, Father George wrote a poem about Easter, the mayor wrote a lovely poem about daffodils ----- I had no idea he even thought about daffodils.
FN (TEEN): My high school principal wrote a poem about being unloved. What a downer.
SS: He's working through some things. Let's not judge.
FN (TEEN): Did you write a poem, Miss Harrison?
SS: I did and I'm not going to tell you which one, Kent.
FN (TEEN): I hope it wasn't a sad poem. They're all so droopy and drippy, Miss Harrison.
GK: Not all of them.
SS: Oh. Mr. Pratt. Didn't see you there.
GK: I'm just finishing mine—
SS: The library is about to close, Mr. Pratt.
GK: I know— (TO HIMSELF) Some say the moon is made of dust, some say of cheese. From what I know of love, I trust the moon is made of silver dust, but it were of Cheddar cheese put there by a heavenly host I'd have some please on a slice of toast. What do you think?
SS: It's very nice.
SS: I didn't know you wrote poetry.
GK: Well, I'm just getting started—
FN (TEEN): There don't seem to be any love poems up here, Miss Harrison.
SS: There's one right here—
O you who see these words, o reader,
Do you know of my passionate desire to meet you in the intimate theater of my heart, and the heat of love's fire—
FN (TEEN): Miss Harrison!
FN (TEEN): You wrote that!
SS: I didn't say that—
FN (TEEN): O my gosh. That is hot. Totally.
SS: Kent, you're making me blush.
GK: I liked that.
TR (PARKER): Ruth!
SS: Oh! Hello Mr. Parker. You startled me.
TR (PARKER): Not used to seeing people in the library, are you-----
SS: No, it's not that.
TR (PARKER): Look Ruth, I'll get right to the point. Herndon County can't afford this library ----- so, the Library Board voted to outsource library services and if you want to reapply for your job, fine, but so far we have a woman who can do your job for 75 cents an hour so if you want to work for less than that, the job is yours.
SS: Mr. Parker, a person cannot argue with insanity, so I won't try. Let me just say this ---- do not mess with a reference librarian, sir. I can take this letter opener and with one quick thrust and two twists I can hand you your pancreas on a plate.
TR (PARKER): We're also switching the library over to digital, so we can sell the building so they can put up the new football stadium on this block-----
GK: They're going to build that?
TR (PARKER): What are you doing here, Pratt? You're supposed to be cleaning my office. You're a janitor, not a poet.
GK: I took the afternoon off to write poetry.
TR (PARKER): Poetry???? What sort of nonsense is this?
SS: It was Poetry Month, Mr. Parker.
TR (PARKER): Ha!! Anyway, I'll leave this form for you to fill out if you want to reapply for your job. Come along, Mr. Pratt. Back to the office.
SS: Just one moment, Mr. Parker.
TR (PARKER): What?
SS: This poem right here. On the wall. (TAKES POEM OFF THE WALL). Read it to me, Mr. Parker.
TR (PARKER, CLEARS THROAT): What is this? (RUSTLES PAPER) To my dog Rex.
It's quiet now in our duplex.
The neighbors came and paid respects.
And I keep busy with projects,
I mow the lawn, I sand the decks,
Write out checks and go on treks,
See movies at the multiplex,
But time has stopped. There is no "next"
Since the death of Rex.
Rex I loved your shiny fur
You were my best friend for sure (CRACKS)
I miss you each day when I jog
I'll never have another dog.
SS: Your poem, Mr. Parker.
TR (PARKER): No! No! (SOBS)
SS: You snuck in here and stuck it to the wall and now you want to tear down the library.
SS: Mr. Parker, we have security cameras in this library.
TR (PARKER): You do?
SS: We do. You installed them.
TR (PARKER): Oh. Uh oh.
SS: I'll destroy the tape, Mr. Parker, if you leave the library alone. And take those silly forms with you.
TR (PARKER, SNIFFLING): Yes ma'am.
SS: And I don't ever want to hear the word "digital" come out of your mouth again. Do you understand me?
TR (PARKER, SNIFFLING): Okay.
FN (TEEN): See you later Mr. Parker.
SS: Well------ another crisis averted. ---- How long have you worked for Mr. Parker, Mr. Pratt?
GK: Twenty years.
SS: Were you aware that he is a poet?
GK: Oh yes. I was cleaning his office once and I found a whole sheaf of his poems. Here. Look at this.
SS: Oh my. My oh my. (PAGING) Fire of my heart. (PAGING) Burning passions of....wow.
GK: You like them?
SS: May I make copies of these?
GK: Be my guest.
TR (ANNC): From the Herndon County Library, it's Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian.
Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).