Café Boeuf, June 11, 2011

Chateau Ste. Michelle Winery

Woodinville, WA

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Café Boeuf

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GK: ... after a word from the Café Boeuf Seattle, with Antoine, your maitre'd.....Bonjour, Antoine----

TR (FRENCH): Bonjour, comment-allez vouz, monsieur?

GK: Fine, thanks.

TR: You are dining alone? By yourself? One man at a table with two chairs?

GK: It looks that way, yes.

TR: Very brave of you monsieur. I salute you. The nobility of the lonely. C'est tres French, n'est ce pas?

GK: Thanks. I think.

TR: We have some tres bien specials today, would you like to hear them?

GK: Sure, why not?

TR: First, we have a (FRENCH) for the appetizer and then for the main course (FRENCH).

GK: This (FRENCH) the main course-----

TR: Non non non. It is not a wheelbarrow full of small mossy stones. Non non non.

GK: That's what I said?

TR: Oui, monsieur.

GK: I thought I said what you said.

TR: Non non. What I said was (FRENCH).

GK: Okay. Does that involve animal parts that we'd call internal organs?

TR: Non non non non non.

GK: Does it involve an animal organ that is in the mouth of the animal?

TR: Oui, monsieur.

GK: I thought so. I don't eat tongue, Antoine.

TR: Hmmmm. (FRENCH) Very well. How about the boeuf burger that is stuffed with something. Le boeufburger surprise.

GK: What's it stuffed with?

TR: That is the surprise! Je ne sais pas! Un surprise on the inside!

GK: I see. So it could be rice. Or swiss cheese.

TR: No, not rice. Not cheese.

GK: Fine. Surprise me.

TR: Very elegant monsieur. You will not be without amazement.

GK: And what kind of wine should I order with this?

TR: Certainement le Ste. Michelle. There is no other.

GK: Okay. The Ste. Michelle.

TR: Ah yes. La perfection.

GK: Who was Ste. Michelle?

TR: She was a French saint.

GK: What happened to her?

TR: Terrible! She was killed by barbarians!

GK: How?

TR: Barbarians. They told her to drink chablis with her steak.

GK: White wine with steak?

TR: Oui, monsieur. Vin Blanc. And rather than that, she took the corkscrew, and---(STABBING NOISES)

GK: She stabbed herself to death with a corkscrew?

TR: Oui.

GK: Red wine for me.

TR: Oui. Vin Rouge. Welcome back to the Café Boeuf, monsieur.


GK: That's the Café Boeuf. Where the Seattle elite meet to eat.

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