ESL, September 24, 2011

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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GK: ....after a message from E.S.L. ---- Earl's School of Language. If you're in school and having a hard time writing term papers for class......

TR (TEEN, READING): A major producer of toast and fried potatoes, France is a nation of 60 million people, who are referred to as French, which is also the name of the language most of them speak in their daily life. With an area of 210,000 square miles, it is not as big as many other countries------

GK: Maybe you've tried copying stuff off the Internet and passing it off as your own.....

TR (TEEN, READING): France is one of the most modern countries in the world with a presidential-parliamentary government and crucial in the economic integration of Europe.

GK: And it's a little better but your teacher isn't that impressed.

SS (TEACHER): I'll give you a B, Sean, but I don't think you worked very hard on that.

GK: The truth is, everything sounds better in a foreign language. Opera does (TR TENOR SINGING ITALIAN) and movies do (TR SPEAKING ROMANTIC GERMAN) and so does your term paper on France.

TR (TEEN, FRENCH)

GK: If you're not doing that well in English, try learning a foreign language. Americans won't understand you but they'll be impressed.

TR (ARABIC)

SS: Wow, listen to Larry talking Arabic. A few months ago, he couldn't speak anything but English, and now ----- boy O boy----- (TR ARABIC)

GK: At Earl's School of Language, you learn all the languages that sound smart. German (TR), French (TR), Russian (TR).....everything but Swedish (TR). You speak Swedish and somebody's going to hand you a broom and tell you to clean up. But all the others are good. And because Americans are monolingual, you won't have to speak a language very well to sound smart. (TR GERMAN)

You can learn to speak not very well in just a few weeks. Astonish your friends, confuse your teachers. ESL, Earl's School of Language.

(TR GIBBERISH)

GK: What's that?

TR: Manganese.

GK: Manganese? Where is that spoken?

TR: Mangan. (GIBBERISH)

GK: What are you saying?

TR: Got no idea.

GK: ESL....Earl's School of Language.

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