Bob's Bank, October 15, 2011

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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Bob's Bank

Listen (MP3)

GK: After this message from Bob's Bank.

If you're tired of paying a fee every time you use an ATM, time to come to Bob's Bank. At Bob's Bank, we don't have ATMs. We have people, and they're called tellers, and their names are Lillian and Esther, and if you can't look a woman in the eye and say, I need a hundred bucks, if you have to do it anonymously through a machine, then we have to wonder what's going on here. Are you afraid that a teller can look in your eyes and see what you want the cash for? Our tellers can. If you want cash for something you really need, not throwing it down a rat hole, Bob's Bank is the place to come.

SS (OLDER): Two hundred dollars, that's a lot of money. What you want that for?

GK: Car repair.

SS (OLDER): They don't take credit cards?

GK: Not for repairs.

SS (OLDER): Seems kinda odd. Is your card maybe cancelled for nonpayment?

GK: I don't think so.

SS (OLDER): Well, I think maybe you oughta check.

GK: How about the two hundred bucks?

SS (OLDER): Let me think about it.

GK: Bob's Bank in the little Green Mobile Home —Neither a borrower nor a lender be, is the motto at Bob's — so save at the sign of the sock. (FLICKERING NEON SIGN SFX)

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