Rhubarb, November 26, 2011

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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Rhubarb

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GK: .......this portion of our show brought to you by Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie. So you grew up on the frozen tundra of Minnesota (BLIZZARD) and you had to walk through blizzards to school chased by wolves (SNARLS, HOWL) and high school was painful ----- you didn't understand anything they said. (TR GERMAN) So you went to college and that was easy you majored in film studies (MOVIE AUDIO, SS & TR FRENCH MURMURS) and it was four years of partying (POP-TOP BEER. DRUNKEN VOICE) and then you got out (TR P.A. W ECHO: And to you, the class of 1992, we say: Go forth and change this world....) and you went through a miserable internship running a copier (COPIER) and answering phones (OVERLAPPING PHONE RINGS) and you hung on somehow and the company was in the business of mediation and you mastered the lingo (FN: What we're doing here is imposing two difference matrixes to achieve correlative function and integrate the entire model and result in an improvement of almost everything) and nobody else knew what you're talking about (TR: Right, J.R. Of course. Gotcha. Great idea. Let's do it.) and you made your way up the corporate ladder ---- (STRUGGLING, HITTING) in the merciless struggle for power and money (WHIPPING, CLUBBING) and finally that corner suite is yours (TRUMPET FANFARE) and you have peons and minions kowtowing to you (MURMURS OF OBEISANCE) ---- and you're ready to retire at the age of 55 to the Caribbean.

(SURF & GULLS) And it's beautiful. (BIRD SONG) it's paradise -----you play golf every morning (SWING, CLICK)...

GK: ...and take a nap in the afternoon (LIGHT SNORING) and you're in fine shape thanks to aerobics (SFX) and you look great thanks to a facelift (RATCHET SFX) and one day you wake up and you've got a leakage problem. (DRIPPING) You look under the sink and in the bathroom and you flush the toilet (FLUSH) and something is still dripping (DRIPPING CONTINUES) and you can't see it ----- Your house was built on a swamp that was drained (SFX) and so were 50,000 other houses and the freeway went in (SFX) and the vibrations of the freeway have opened a deep crevasse in the earth's crust (SFX) which set off an earthquake (SFX) and then a tidal wave (SFX), and that's why your plumbing went bad and the sump pumps stop (SFX) and the swamp rises (SFX) and the alligators come (SFX) and you are airlifted out by helicopter (SFX) and you're taken to a shelter, which is in a high school.

SS: In here-----

FN: In here?

SS: In here, what's the matter with you?

FN: I'm looking for the shelter. My house is underwater. I'm homeless.

SS: Well, my, my, my. And that's why you didn't write your term paper? Huh? Tell me another story.

FN: I'm retired. I'm 55 years old.

SS: Who are you trying to kid? You're 17. Get your butt in that seat and finish this test.

GK: You're back in high school. And there's a test.

TR: (GERMAN, READING)

GK: And he's waiting for your answer (GERMAN)
Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie.
Nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth like rhubarb pie.

But one little thing can revive a guy,
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie.
Serve it up, nice and hot,
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought.

DUET:
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb,
Beebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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