Catchup, December 17, 2011

The Town Hall

New York, NY


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Catchup

Listen (MP3)

GK:......after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

A favorite holiday tradition around our house is the Pilgrim Sisters Christmas Special from 1982 with the June Taylor Dancers and hosted by Ed McMahon. I've been waiting for the show to come out on DVD but meanwhile I have it on tape and it's terrific. (FAST FORWARD)....

TR (McMAHON): (CHUCKLES) And now here they are, the fabulous Pilgrim Sisters, Susie, Joanie, and Sherry---- (FAST FORWARD)

The sisters sound so great here and this is right after Joanie got caught for shoplifting, which was a big blow to their career.

(SISTERS SING "WINTER WONDERLAND")

She was caught shoplifting toilet paper. She did 18 weeks of community service for two rolls of toilet paper. They were big stars and they had to go back to doing dinner theater. (FAST FORWARD)

Let me show you the scene with the Christmas tree. I think it's around here somewhere. (FAST FORWARD, STOPS)

TR (ED McMAHON, SINGS): .... I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus......hiyo..........underneath the---(FAST FORWARD)

Sorry, it's here somewhere. Ed looked so much better before he got those enormous aviator glasses. (FAST FORWARD, STOPS)

TR (Ed McMAHON, SINGS): ...I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is coming to town...yes indeed! Hiyo!!!!!!!! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

(FAST FORWARD)

Sorry. The Christmas tree scene. It's up here a little farther. It was right after the Pilgrims did this special that Joni was hospitalized for her bulimia which came after she admitted she was addicted to jelly doughnuts. And then she married a guy who was in her therapy group and that was a huge mistake. Here, it's around here. (FAST FORWARD STOPS)

(DiGi SISTERS, SING):

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,
Ring ting tingling too
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you
Outside the snow is falling
And friends are calling "yoo hoo",
Come on, it's lovely weather
For a sleigh ride together with you.
Giddy yap, giddy yap, giddy yap,
Let's go, Let's look at the show,
We're riding in a wonderland of snow.
Giddy yap, giddy yap, gidd yap,
It's grand, Just holding your hand,
We're gliding along with a song
Of a wintry fairy land

(UNDER, CONTINUE)

That's Joni on the left. Sherry in the middle. She's the one who got the nose job right after this. She had a beautiful nose and she went to a butcher in L.A. and he made her look like the Bride of Frankenstein and he did something to her sinuses so she became a baritone and that was that. End of career. (FAST FORWARD)

I want you to hear the song where they're in the church and the spotlight is shining down on them and ----- (FAST FORWARD STOP)

TR (ED MCMAHON): ....right back after this message from our sponsor. Hiyo!!!! (FAST FORWARD)

It's right in here somewhere. (STOP)

(DIGI SISTERS SING "AVE MARIA" IN CHIPMUNK VOICES)

Sorry, I'll find it. Give me a minute. It's right here.
(STOP) Something's wrong with the tape, it always speeds up here. (FAST FORWARD, STOP)
(DIGI SISTERS SING "O HOLY NIGHT" IN CHIPMUNK VOICES)

Sorry. It's right after "O Holy Night" (STOP) Let me just fast forward this----- (FAST FORWARD, STOP)
DIGI SISTERS SING: GOOD KING WENCESLAS
(DIGIS HUM UNDER)

They were supposed to get their own network show and then Joanie got hit in the head with a bell. In the rehearsal for this number. A dancer missed his cue and he whacked her with a bell and she ran offstage and a reindeer panicked and bit her on the leg and she had to be vaccinated for rabies and it was so traumatic for her, she couldn't sing----- you see how's she's lip-synching here? See that? She never could sing again the way she used to. So Susie and Sherry replaced her with a cousin and then the lawsuits started and that took fifteen years and now they're doing a cooking show on public access TV and they're talking about a comeback. But I don't think so.

Boy. You have to wonder how far they might've gotten if they'd just known about ketchup.

Natural mellowing agents. That's what they needed. They were too high-strung. Ketchup.

RD (SINGS):
These are the good times
The stars are in the sky
White snow is falling
It's Christmas bye and bye
Life is flowing
Like ketchup on mince pie.

GK: Ketchup, for the good times

RD: Ketchup, ketchup

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