Café Bouef, January 28, 2012

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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Café Bouef

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GK: .......after a word from the Café Boeuf, with Maurice, your maitre'd. Bonjour, Maurice---- ahhh---- you're not Maurice.

TR: Non. I am Francois.

GK: Where is Maurice?

TR: He is not in the restaurant business any more.

GK: No? He's not a maitre'd? Why?

TR: He won the lottery.

GK: No.

TR: Yes. Le Powerful Ball. He is a very very wealthy man so he went back to France. Bought himself a little farm south of (FRENCH NAME).

GK: Where is (FRENCH MISNAME)?

TR I have no idea. Never heard of it before in my life.

GK: (MISNAME)? You just said he lives south of there.

TR: Non non non non non. I said (NAME). There is a big big difference between (NAME) and (MISNAME). (NAME) is a city just west of (2ND NAME). (MISNAME) means "the crust on the puddle of mud".

GK: Okay. And where is (2ND MISNAME)?

TR: You mean (2ND NAME)----

GK: Okay. Where is that?

TR: You know where (3RD NAME) is?

GK: Is that near ---------(4TH NAME).

TR: No, it's closer to (5TH NAME).

GK: Okay. What's the special tonight?

TR: Tonight, we have the (FRENCH) and we serve that with a lovely (FRENCH) and with just a (FRENCH FOR ITTY BITTY BIT) of the (FRENCH).

GK: It sounds wonderful.

TR: It is (FRENCH SUPERLATIVE).

GK: Sounds wonderful.

TR: And we'll seat you in the barn?

GK: In the bar?

TR: No. In the barn.

GK: What's in the barn?

TR: The animals you will be eating. You should sit with them so you become familiar with your food.

GK: I eat next to the animals?

TR: Oui, monsieur.

GK: Okay. I'll just have a salad then.

TR: That's what the animals will be eating. Salads. So you can sit with them.

GK: Maurice never had me sit in the barn, Francois. Thirty years I've been eating at the Café Boeuf, he always found me a place.

TR: Maurice is gone. To (FRENCH NAME). Just south of (2ND NAME).

GK: A message from Café Boeuf.

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