Presidents, February 4, 2012

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN

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Listen (MP3)

GK: The ability to tell a joke is crucial for anyone in a leadership position and most successful presidents have been good joke-tellers.

TR (CLINTON): Did you hear that the men's stores are holding a big Presidents Day sale. All pants are half off.

TR (BUSH): So Aristotle walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says, "Okay, but don't get any ideas." Get it? Heh heh heh heh.

GK: The guy we've got in there now is still trying to develope the touch.

TR (OBAMA): So times are hard. How hard are they? Well, Exxon had to lay off 25 Congressmen.

GK: George H.W. Bush was not a great joke teller.

TR (GHWB): Two skydivers are getting ready to jump, one says " You're going to jump without a parachute?" The other says, "Is it mandatory?"... "Sure is, it's raining outside." Got that one from "W".

GK: Ronald Reagan was pretty good.

TR (REAGAN): How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? 
A: Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet.

GK: Jimmy Carter did his best to be humorous.

TR (CARTER): How can you tell that you're at a Hillbilly wedding? Everyone's sitting on the same side of the church.

GK: Richard Nixon, not a great teller of jokes.

TR (NIXON): What's brown and sits on a piano? Beethoven's last movement.

GK: And neither was Lyndon Baines Johnson.

TR (LBJ): How do you know if you have a Texas mosquito? You slap him, he'll slap you back.

GK: But the guy in there now is working on it, and we wish him well.

TR (OBAMA): So there were these two penguins standing on an ice floe.

GK: Not the penguin joke, Mr. President.

TR (OBAMA): So there was this Democrat and twelve Republicans climbing the mountain and they slip and fall and they're all hanging on to one rope and it's not strong enough to hold them all and the Democrat says, Okay, only one of me, twelve of you, so I'll let go, and the Republicans all clap their hands and give him a falling ovation.

GK: Very well done, Mr. President.

TR (OBAMA): Thank you.

Old Sweet Songs: A Prairie Home Companion 1974-1976

Old Sweet Songs

Lovingly selected from the earliest archives of A Prairie Home Companion, this heirloom collection represents the music from earliest years of the now legendary show: 1974–1976. With songs and tunes from jazz pianist Butch Thompson, mandolin maestro Peter Ostroushko, Dakota Dave Hull and the first house band, The Powdermilk Biscuit Band (Adam Granger, Bob Douglas and Mary DuShane).

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