Fritz, February 18, 2012

The Fitzgerald Theater

Saint Paul, MN


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Fritz

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GK: After this message from Fritz Electronics. A lot of people are getting the new iPhone these days. The one that talks to you.

SS (SIRI): Hi. This is Siri. What can I help you with?

GK: But not everybody feels comfortable talking to a woman. Which is why Fritz Electronics also stocks the mPhone. The smartphone that talks to you like a man.

TR (ROBOT): Hi. I'm Bob. What do you want?

GK: His name is Bob. Ask him anything, and he.

SS: How far is the next rest stop?

TR (ROBOT): You have to go again? My gosh you have a tiny bladder.

GK: It's almost like having an actual man with you at all times.

SS: Is there a drugstore around here? I need some makeup.

TR (ROBOT): You look fine. Don't worry about it.

SS: Okay but is there a drugstore around here?

TR (ROBOT): You left the kitchen light on.

SS: What?

TR (ROBOT): Why would you leave the light on in the kitchen?

SS: Because I'm going back in there.

TR (ROBOT): When?

SS: Soon as I come back from the drugstore—

TR (ROBOT): Turn the kitchen light off. You're wasting energy.

SS: You're not listening to me.

TR (ROBOT): Go turn off the light. And while you're in there, can you get me a beer?

GK: Yes, that's Bob, the helpful voice of the mPhone. When you'd rather not talk to a woman, remember, there's always Bob. Now available at Fritz Electronics.

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